There are two approaches available to you: competitive or inclusive. Said this way, the choice seems obvious, though every influence in our society is about turning relationships into a zero-sum game. That means a game with many losers and just one winner.

You know what you want. You’ve earned that knowledge and you’ve earned the privilege of striving for your preferences. At the risk of stirring up revolt against this currently derided thing, privilege, I will say this: Semantically, the word privilege has its origins as a law that applies to one person.

When we use the phrase ‘change my mind’, we make it sound like a decision that we can change right back. I would propose that to change your mind is to change yourself, when you really do it. You actually rearrange aspects of not just your thought pattern but also your neurology.