This week’s astrology features Mercury and Mars in Cancer making a series of aspects throughout the week. Mercury in Cancer, particularly, can indicate a mind that’s very sensitive to others — to people’s moods, to what they say, to what they seem to leave unsaid. Which means that it becomes extra important to say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Photo by Amanda Painter.
As Eric suggested in an email about this astrology, “make actual statements of fact. Do not hedge or pussyfoot around the point.”
I recognize how incredibly difficult this can be for many people — especially in person.
Years ago, I remember a college professor of mine pointing out that, more and more, he was hearing students say, “I feel that…” when they were actually trying to express their thoughts about an academic topic, not describe their feelings.
The phrase “I feel that…” seemed to emerge as a way to soften the critical opinion being put forth (critical as in, ‘critical thinking’). It was a way for students, particularly young women, to avoid seeming confrontational; it betrayed a lack of confidence in their thought processes and in their right to assert them, by couching everything in ‘feelings’.
That was 20 years ago that my professor made that observation, prior to the internet as we know it. In today’s digital environment, it seems the stakes are even higher for speaking up. Saying nothing can seem ‘safer’ — though we know silence often comes with dire consequences.
Here’s a rundown of some of the week’s most prominent aspects:
On Monday, Mars in Cancer makes a trine to Neptune in Pisces, though it’s been in effect for a few days. Got the urge to help someone out with something? This energy is perfect for it: you’re more likely to be conscious of others’ needs, and can take satisfaction in helping without needing a pat on your head (or ego).
Tuesday, Mercury squares Jupiter in Libra and trines Neptune in Pisces. Mercury square Jupiter can be deceptive in that it reveals a tendency to exaggerate. Particularly with Mars square Jupiter in the picture, that could be out of anger or revenge, and if unchecked, it’s unlikely to work out well. This aspect is about the need for fact-checking, no matter how right you may think you are.
Photo by Amanda Painter.
In the presence of that square, Mercury and Mars trine Neptune can add to the deceptive quality, such as believing exaggerations. The trine aspect sometimes manifests as “if you lie, I’ll swear to it,” and in this case, it might mean, “I’ll believe whatever bullshit you hurl at me.”
That said, on the whole this aspect pattern is good for creativity — such as writing fiction or taking dramatic photos — and for contrasting two versions of events.
Finally, on Thursday, Mercury in Cancer opposes Pluto in Capricorn. If you need to investigate a problem or mystery in an interpersonal situation, Mercury-Pluto can facilitate getting to the bottom of it. That said, watch for the urge to persuade someone of something using anything less than the absolute truth (as far as you honestly know it).
‘White lies’ are so-called because people consider them to be innocent. But stop and think about it: any time you tell a white lie, it’s because on some level you’re uncomfortable with letting someone see the truth. Maybe you’re afraid of how they may react, or feel sensitive and defensive about your motives. Whatever the reason, a white lie is a subtle form of emotional manipulation. And people manipulate to gain power over someone else.
You don’t need power over anyone other than yourself. And that’s not the kind of power that comes from a hard shell, emotional defensiveness or sidestepping confrontation. It’s the kind that comes from being willing to stand fully as who you are, and to receive others as who they are.
– with Eric Francis
I’m like 5 paragraphs in, and this is so fucking on point. OMFGoddess I wish people would say what they mean, be up front about what they think, and/or feel! And yes, this thing about using ‘I think’ in lieu of ‘I feel’, or vice versa, the way some people do drives me nuts. My blood gets hot when I hear it. I learned in an undergrad writing class not to even use ‘I think’ when writing because if you’re making a statement it’s understood that you ‘think’ whatever you are about to write. So, I try to do the same thing when I speak. Some people tend to take what I say as ‘matter of fact’, blunt, direct & forward. So be it.
Haha — Michael — I am grateful to know others have noticed the “I think / I feel” mix-up. It really is fascinating when you stop to contemplate what it really means, its effect, the subconscious reasons driving it, etc.
As for using “I think” in speech: I suspect it’s okay to keep the rule more for writing than for conversation. As you seem to have experienced, in speech, leaving out “I think” can sometimes convey an absoluteness about a topic that is not truly intended, and can seem confrontational. That said, I’ve certainly found that using certain writing “rules” in speech has helped me to remember them in my writing.
It seems the question is: how do we avoid couching our opinions *so* deeply in language that conveys deference that, in the end, it turns out we have not really said what we’re trying to say? And beyond that: are we truly aware of when we’re using vague or evasive language as a way to subtly manipulate the type of response we’ll get?
For any Leos or Leo risings out there, one thing I’ve been doing since I saw 3 foxes the other day, and once I got home read about fox magic in “Animal Speak” is this: try shape shifting. Here’s how I do it: It starts by telling myself ‘try shape shifting’. I use those words exactly, silently to myself. I did it at a party last night, and it was incredible. I was able to still speak my truth, and be up front with people, but at the same time did not a strangle hold on the ‘reality’ of the conversations, and situations.
I will add that “Animal Speak” gives some good tips on how to shape shift, for instance, go to a public place and stand against a wall while imagining that you are blending into the wall.
Extremely fascinating (dramatic) pictures of the crab and Yellow snail; there’s beautiful Amanda. Heard on the radio about a blue crab advisory http://www.thebaynet.com/articles/0617/2017bluecrabadvisoryreportreleased.html You’re right on about in the presence of Mercury square Jupiter, that the Mercury and Mars trine Neptune would dissed out today; thanks for the astrology alert, it was needed. Great piece in the Create: `More than just a tip’ Sometimes I can get a rider on the back of my Harley Davidson Softail, and make up for all the disrespect the tip has endured; by just shifting gears. Its Zen.
Thank you, Glen — glad to hear the astro-advisory was timely! We don’t have blue crabs in Maine, but we do have Jonah (also known as “peeky-toe” crabs). Unfortunately, the crab in the photo is not one of those; I’m pretty sure it’s an invasive species. We have at least a couple of invasive crab species that seem to be threatening native populations of sea life, which is frustrating.
Intriguing read Amanda! Thank you.
In my own inner seeking to understand myself, I realized the reason I was less than Honest at times was because my desire was to acquire something from someone, that I feared I wouldn’t get if I told the truth. Be that acquisition agreement, approval, acceptance, etc.
Underneath that desire to “get”, was a pile of self worth issues. I didn’t Respect myself enough to Honor myself and be True to myself. I was afraid to be Real. I was afraid people wouldn’t like the Real me. The me that wasn’t “perfect”. I had doubts about liking the Real me, myself.
There were a bunch of things about myself I didn’t like. I tried my best to keep these parts locked up inside the closet of my body but eventually they would break out and cause all sorts of havoc. The reason it did was because everything I imagined I’d “got” or “acquired” had been as Real as I was.
If I had sought agreement and gotten it, by not being Honest, then that agreement was an illusion. It was not Real. It was obtained under false pretenses. Relationships proved to be the same. It took a lot of energy and effort to maintain these illusions, too.
Many years have passed since that self realization. I’m a Real person. Now, people who know me, know not to ask me a question if they don’t want to hear my Honest answer. It’s due to my own Self interest. Maintaining the Integrity of my Being is a Value to me and requires discipline.
The one thing I rarely do is accept any responsibility or accountability for how someone else feels. My feelings are mine, your are yours, his are his, hers are hers, etc. I have enough trouble trying to reign over my own, without trying to reign over someone else’s. I don’t enable surrendering the Power over our own reality to others. That’s no way to empower anyone.
I’m, also sensitive. Not the ‘boohoo you hurt my feelings’ sort of sensitive, but the kind of sensitivity that brings Awareness. I suspect there are growing numbers of us that can sense the energy radiating from someone, no matter what words are said. I “pick up” the signals through my central nervous system. I sense what others are feeling through experiencing the feeling myself. Only I have no Power over these emotions because they are not of my creation.
Learning about my own emotions and claiming Sovereignty over them has made it so I can be of service to others when they experience the same. I can transform and transmute it.
Every idea in our heads creates an impulse of energy, which we register as an impulse in sensitivity. E-motion, energy in motion. If I don’t like the way I feel when I look at something, then I look at it a different way. I replace one peptide with another that is more pleasurable. I replace living from my gut, or fear center, to living from my Heart or Love centered. It wasn’t/isn’t easy for me. Simple, but not easy. It requires discipline and Devotion to a belief that’s I’m Worth it.
Michael Mayes, I have enjoyed your gifts of insight and I’m now speaking up to Thank You. I’ve found your experiences to be very enriching. I would like to share a perspective with you that you might enjoy. I admit ignorance when it comes to writing and have never taken any classes on it. I simply write like I talk. My alternate perspective has to do with this quote:
“I learned in an undergrad writing class not to even use ‘I think’ when writing because if you’re making a statement it’s understood that you ‘think’ whatever you are about to write.”
This is the same thing my nephew tried to say to me a few months ago and I didn’t let him get away with it. Just because an idea pops into our head doesn’t mean we ‘thought’ about it, nor is it any reason to give credit for “thinking”.
“Thinking” is a process of Reason. “Reason” is a process of adding one idea to another without creating any conflicts, contradictions or nullification’s in the process. Any random hodge-podge of emotionally charged ideas does not qualify. I would have argued with our instructor most likely. (smiling)
Sue Edwards — I suspect that a lot of people (certainly many regular readers of PW) have shared some of your experience regarding the results of not being “real” with others, and coming to some new level of understanding about its effects, and the value of being real. And the vigilance it takes to do so. It’s not easy, and I for one still catch myself slipping up — often out of habit, sometimes out of a new iteration of an old fear.
I think that for a lot of us human beings, the subtle ways we are not completely honest with others (and with ourselves) are so ingrained, they are almost impossible to see — until, of course, someone or some incident shines a light on them. Then there comes the question of whether we’re able to soften our ego defenses enough to see what we are being shown, to own it, to continue to love ourselves in the face of it, and then to begin choosing a more honest, more accountable way to be. Sadly, shame is often a powerful force in keeping a person stuck in self-defeating habits.
Oh — and thank you for that description of what is and is not “thinking.” That is definitely food for thought.