STOCKHOLM — PlanetWaves.net has received the prestigious Worstie award for the worst website design of the year, it was announced yesterday. Since word of the award went viral, traffic to the site has soared, and Planet Waves, Inc. stock more than quadrupled in value, going from $2.48 a share to $11 a share in overnight trading.
The quirky website, which cannot decide whether it’s really about astrology, politics, sex or Chiron, edged out aggressive competitors including DepressedSingles.com, FrozenFood.info and DoucheBagTherapy.org, for the honor of being the world’s very worst website, based on composition, look and feel.
“This award has nothing to do with content,” said Dyno Nobelski, chairman of the panel of judges who bestowed the honor. “If it did, Planet Waves would not have done so well. They excel in original content, fact checking, and even art,” he said. “Who the heck has heard of an astrology website with fact checkers? What is this, Der Spiegel?”
Nobelski added, “Fortunately, they are terrible at everything else. We were really impressed by the shitty color scheme used by the designers, as well as overall mayhem, a sense of cluttered disorder and ridiculousness reaching into every corner of the work. This was an extremely thorough job.”
“Clearly, these people used the very worst marketing strategists in existence. They must have gone to the ends of the Earth to find them,” said Jim Wyndham Marshall McLuhan, who sits on the advisory panel to the Worsties. He is a distant cousin to the famous media theorist, and author of The Meat and Potatoes Book. “We need to find those consultants. They really suck, and could help make the Internet a lot worse place, which would be good for everyone.”
“At Planet Waves, they’ve managed to do everything wrong, that you can possibly do wrong,” said New York web designer Jean Wang, who is located on Park Avenue. “I don’t really have any words for it. Maybe one of my copysmiths can come up with something touching, but like, wow.”
“This is special,” said Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook and Millennial consultant to Planet Waves. “For years we’ve had to come to terms with having the worst website. But now thanks to discovering Planet Waves we feel so much better.”
Color swatch of the really, really bad choices Planet Waves used to make up its final color scheme.
“We spent millions to come up with those horrendous shades of blue. Planet Waves has stumbled upon a far worse, more disconcerting color combination.” Zuckerberg added. “We’re sincerely impressed.”
“Mr. Coppolino has been investing heavily in pastels and colored pencils recently,” said his artist rep, Pierre LePoo III. “You should see some of the hellacious color combinations he’s coming up with lately. It’s not really possible to actually look at his sketch pad, it’s so disturbing.”
Since receiving the award, Planet Waves has experienced unprecedented success, with traffic and sales soaring, and more people entering comments than ever. Other websites have begun to adopt the look and feel.
“That shitty Planet Waves look is catching on wildly,” said the rock star Bono, who helps fund the awards. “You know that expression, ‘It’s so bad it’s good’? Well, Planet Waves has given that real meaning.”
oh, wow!
This is a travesty. In a good way.
My mouth dropped open not knowing what to think or to say…
Solar flare? Meteorite? Pole Shift? Roast? Elaborate koan? Mars-Neptune quintile? Huh?
Blessings to Planet Waves?
Um, is it April 1 again?
I meant: Blessings to Planet Waves!
Got carried about with the ?
Every day is April Fool’s Day at Planet Waves.
Which is just one awesome thing about Planet Waves. The web site design in another and the content and the people
You are all awesome.
Everything is beautiful here. I say this as someone with a tendency to be critical. I see the details that are not perfect in things. I guess the other piece of this beauty is that in these past years, you have helped me reconceptualize how I react to those details both within myself and the outside world.
FaceBook really is the winner of the Worstie competition, but I guess they can’t give it to them every year.
Well, that color swatch actually does remind me of litmus paper.
Having spent most of my working life as an ultra-competent typist and proof-reader (think Elton John on a typewriter) I have to say that Planet Waves has rendered me redundant. Here I am, Virgo midheaven and retired, with nothing to do but moan about the abysmal literary standards of online journalism and, well, there’s nothing for me to do here… Couldn’t be worse. No sp. mistakes, not even during Mercury retrogrades, factually accurate within a second of arc and astonishingly politically perceptive.
If only it were half the price I could probably afford to sign up. Well, you did ask!
Love the farce, thanks! It’s also interesting how we want 100% quality but are only willing to give less, why is it that we expect to give so much less, yet require much, much more? I work so often in institutions that declared the 80% rule (80% effort should be enough) yet when push came to shove and the 20% incomplete also comes down to shoddiness that came to bite them on the ass, they realized that they got what they really demanded.
Its economics 101, every transaction has a cost, whether its a researcher, writer, followed by a proof-reader, or editor. If we want less, we get less, if we want more, we either pay more, or eventually we will get less because it’s not sustainable.
Hmm? I just figured Eric was trying to hone his psychic abilities and chose his colors blindfolded!
I am glad to hear Chiron was mentioned.
I feel a bit ripped off that news this “big time” was available to everyone, and not exclusive to community members. (hint = sarcastic)
needless to say – i feel the pain …
Believe me..I know what you are feeling and going through. And you have a sense of humor through it all..the best! Such good writing and talent in you, all!
Likewise, I have spent the last 3, 4 years going through a mojor transformation with my work/ no work. And seems everything I have tried even with great enthusism and interest, has not really panned out. Besides being creative…Now that has gelt good!
As far as generating enough income, not even enough to get food on the table and pay rent for periods of time. Which is finally shifting a bit this month. Whew! It is almost comical though the necessary persistance, and personal appreciation required, especially given my experience and aptitude. And I know it has nothing to do with effort because that has been in spades. I am confident all is in right order. It is all a part of the Divine Plan.
Have you ever thought you may be ahead on the curve? Most likely the case. So we let go.. I think our meaning of effort is shifting dramatically now. Soon everyone will be doing what they love, with effortless expansion, and return.
I am with you brother. Finally just came back on this weekend as Core member..must have heard your precall. I wish I could contribute more and will do in time. For now please know I so appreciate the great value and worth of what you, all. put out here.
Thank you, and love,
A thousand times fold!
xps
P.S. You really should write more comical satires. Such a creative piece!
Yes more creative comical – and not so passive aggressive.
I too have benefited from Eric’s readings which promise me that my persistence will bare fruit in the very near future. My Virgo sun and Cancer ascendant readings for 2015 is helping me weather the long financial drought that I have been enduring for the past three years, and for which I am currently at almost a panic state, with the promise that energy is moving me along a path beneficial to my personal journey. I expect things to improve. I expect that there is purpose to our collective drama right now. Eric is not the only one experiencing drought and maybe he should consider that in his current state of frustration.
Umm, don’t you have work to do?
What Anna said………….kinda thinking about the trickster mercury thing……and that the light heart finds the way….I’m in………………………..
I love it! And the website, and you, all the Team. Fantastic job all round. Live long and prosper … And may that mega-donation turn up soon …
Jut guessing perfection wins awards across the spectrum!
I didn’t want to say anything, but……..I saw this coming. Dreadful design. Dread. Full.
William, what double secret password? What lack of dates?
Well here is an example of frustration from my perspective. I bought all readings for this year on cosmophilia. Turns out cosmophilia is a whole separate website. I have a username and password for that site. I think that is one of William’s issues. But it gets worse – turns out if I DONT save that site to my favorites (or memorize it) then for whatever reason,,,, there is no way to access my (now purchased) readings from PW’s web site.
When you run an article from cosmophilia I have a way in and then if I remember the sequence of how to come across the login screen and……. if I know my login and password (which I have learned to memorize) I can actually access my purchased material. but from PW’s website the ONLY reference to cosmophilia takes me to a sales pitch – and there is no way whatsoever from that screen to access login, WHY? Why do I get scraps of your concern after I have purchased? But what is evident is that your creative focus is very concerned with getting me information, in an extremely in your face way, which helps me purchase! I feel less than because of.
If you want to please people make the content easy to navigate and put less focus on sales pitch. Your content is worthy and well worth the price but having to contact Chelsie every time I want to reread some Great Reading you have manifested – sort of pisses me off.
The material is great, awsome
Cowboy, if I buy a book and leave it someplace, it’s my loss.
If you buy something from us, keep hold of it. It’s a valuable item just like your library card or a CD.
We cannot deliver Cosmophilia to non-All Access users on the new system due to a technical limitation. We might have the funds to fix that but our engineers are on another project for a while (it’s an outside firm).
Keep track of your stuff. There are programs that do that — such as Keychain. Modern browsers save passwords.
No surprised Eric. I knew it would be my fault.
One thing I learned through 23 years in the restaurant business is to take customer comments and complaints seriously. You fight that reality at risk of your enterprise.
You’re saying if you buy something and lose it, it’s the fault of the seller? Well, the customer is always right, and I employ people to help you find your password. You can call on the phone, or email, and we cover you pretty much 24/7, so I am taking responsibility. And yes, when I lose my car key, it’s my fault. And since my car key costs $300 to replace, I carry insurance on it.
No, I’m saying – I like websites to make my experience easy. I really don’t want a hassle. Maybe that affects renewals, I don’t know. Just an opinion.
But you are right, Eric. I am wrong. And now I don’t feel like spending money to be here anymore, You win. Jim. Keep this up and you won’t be here.
BTW, I found you through a LINK that was on some other site, not sure who, but it was fucking easy. I just clicked on the tab and boom!, here you were. But you cant do the same with your own multitude of sites?
And why don’t you repay the websites you have links to? Because it can’t be done? Really?
Eric you are a great artist, and your astrology is awesome – but as a businessman you leave a lot to be desired. Stop trying to be all things. Or don’t.
When you say you want websites to be “easy” you don’t know you’re saying I want you to spend an extra $5000 on that issue, and an extra $5000 on that issue. I want lots of things to be easy, and I admit that I have to learn how to do things, and that the world is not set up for my convenience. I am making this as a moral statement.
Your “you are right” line is sanctimonious. It’s EST stuff. Did you take EST?
And by the way — a lot of what I struggle with, Eric the person, is that I invest tremendous focus in my art; then I out of necessity I must be a manager, and a fundraiser, and a salesman. Were I not willing to at least try, you would not have any benefits of my work.
So, you are right — if I make great art, but fall short as a businessman, and you don’t like that, there are a heck of a lot of astrology websites.
Well, this is just a shitty conversation.
I thought we were supposed to be having fun, but..
CowboyIam, I gotta throw out a few things for you. Code = time. Time is money. These cats don’t work for free, wish they did, I’d hire them!
You’ve got the lovely Chelsea to guide you through any hang up regarding the system. Her, or her assistance can guide you to an amicable space that gets you what you deserve.
Fuck dude, we’re just trying to make this world a better space.
Quit being a dick, and fucking take care of yourself. It would sound a bit better if you realized that there’s other pricks (like me) out there who will call you on your shit. I’ve got no issues with being a dick.. except for the fact it aint cool.
Other than that, let’s chat.. I got all the time in the world.
Jeremy Nicholas Loscutoff
I just went to the PW Oracle and asked about the PlanetWaves website, its future, and advice on what should be done now. Here’s what it gave me:
Jul 24, 2009
SCORPIO – Weekly
Life is easier when you’re not carting around the emotional baggage of other people; it’s easier when you set your own goals rather than eliminating the things you aspire to because you’re certain that someone will disapprove. We don’t see how subtle this is: and if you can see, you can step outside of it. If you can take at least one bold step, you might be able to break from the tractor beam of someone else’s doubt — and that is precisely what it is. Straight away, you’re in a position to discover that there is another side to the story. Yet you may still be struggling with feeling confident and secure with this cord cut; keep working on the attachment issues involved. The forthcoming Aquarius lunar eclipse will help you clear up any residual dust and grime.
Well I have taken some time to consider what I am up to and responding now with a couple of beers to mellow me. I don’t feel apologetic about anything I have said because, honestly, it is important points of discussion if we are intent on keeping this beautiful site alive and active.
Eric, your letter felt to me as if you have placed the issues outside of your control and I want to press the point that such a concept is bullshit. And worse it is suicide.
People love to complement each other but when it comes to expressing their unmet needs it is easier to just leave. When there is some noticeable shift in a businesses volume it is necessary to look for the reason, and it will usually be found within the structure, not without.
I have been here long enough that I have a right to speak up and further I have a stake in this because I love the content and the community; I don’t want to see it fail!
Eric you have a gift for depth astrology and through this website you give it to the world, and that is something I have benefited from. That is also something millions of people will pay for. But we are having growing pains and if we refuse to take criticism and ignore the details of those who complain; brush them off as frivolous, then we miss an opportunity to excel.
Eric – Astrology has helped me understand myself. I no longer try to please the world. I have a beautiful perspective and the world needs me to be authentic. Your readings for Gemini, Cancer and Virgo have reinforced and deepened my understanding of myself. I love you for that and I love this site for the conscious community it has attracted. I am all in – but I am the antagonist who wants you to stay focused on what you are gifted to do. I realize you need more help and while we wait for them to show up – try and be open to what people say – whether it feels good or not. I’m a Virgo Eric. I mean well. I want this beautiful unique site to succeed!
I’m going to make one more point because I think it important. I have been gifted in my life to have a friendship that lasted ten years and has deeply impacted my life. This person is female and she worked for me for sixteen years before we met. She had never been more than a pain in my ass, but I learned to trust her. Through a series of strange events we developed an intimate relationship.
Over the next ten years we molded our lives together. We had this one special attribute; we often disagreed, but we wanted so badly to understand each other that we pressed the conversation beyond the usual limits. We had long passionate debates that others might call arguments but our desire to understand each other meant that we never degraded each other. So we always respected each other regardless of how far we were apart on any topic. That was the beauty of us.
Now, from my experience, there is a strange thing that happens when two people want to be on the same wave length (truly desire to stay connected) but are both alpha’s (unwilling to be subservient) yet they have very different views on some subject. And that is a spectacular moment of new perspective.
We could debate for hours – at times leaving the subject resting – and then returning with renewed passion. We both started out wanting the other to capitulate but in the end neither could – and always something new arrived within our conscious minds to which we both agreed. It was a miracle that manifested for us over and over again.
I believe that this phenomenon is the solution to all our (the worlds) problems. I don’t know how to make it happen in regular relationships – but I know it cannot happen if people are afraid to speak-up, if people are so averse to conflict that they wont be honest. I am always looking for the other who won’t back down but wont run either, and especially the ones who will fight (debate passionately) without making it personal.
The idea that we are only supposed to be supportive and uplifting is not beneficial all the time. I will always be here with my rebuttal when it matters. I love you Eric.
Well, I agree with some of what Cowboyiam said – the niggles finding my way around the website, etc – I long ago learned to keep links and access the material that way, and always keep a record of ‘non-sensitive’ log in/access details to this and other websites – it’s a no-brainer in my book. However it probably does put some, especially new users, off. Possibly an email to cosmophilia purchasers explaining the separate www would have been a good idea – or maybe there was one that I just didn’t notice at the time. That said, it’s the quality of the astrology and the sense of connection with real people that keeps me a loyal and now fairly long term all-access user. That’s more important to me than slick production funded by advertising that can end up controlling the actual material delivered. I’d rather have it raw and honest with all its niggles than airbrushed and glossy and controlled by the funders.
Cowboyiam, your comment re
“there is a strange thing that happens when two people want to be on the same wave length (truly desire to stay connected) but are both alpha’s (unwilling to be subservient) yet they have very different views on some subject. And that is a spectacular moment of new perspective.”
was eye-opening for me – wise words, thank you!
Cowboyiam – I totally agree with you about being open and honest – but we also need to watch out for the stuff that we unconsciously project onto others. Caught myself doing it the other day – didn’t feel good when it came right back at me. but think it’s a vital part of developing self-awareness.
We are all trying to help Eric find out, why with such a fantastic website, he is not having many more new subscribers ???
It is a difficult one. Is it a
(Sorry this computer jumps). Is it to do with mission partly and need?
An example might be that I have no money – this scares me sometimes (what if…). I think i would like to own my own house (even a yurt) or bring in money (how?) and part of me knows that I have a place to stay, that I have food to eat, I contribute. is there a blockage there; is it self worth, or is it that I actually have enough and there are many many people/animals/places who are far worse off. Am I ‘lazy’ in some way.
Do I need more than I have already.
Do you need more or would you just like it? I often buy a lottery ticket. You may laugh but I am convinced that it would win except that when I consider it, each time (before the draw) I come to the conclusion that I don’t really need to win, that I have enough actually at this present moment (and that is ‘crazy’ – materially (of my own) I have two pairs of shoes some changes of clothing, a sewing machine, a bicycle, a dryer, a juicer, a rotovator, a blender, 2 saucepans, some ‘working’ stones and responsibility to various animals/trees/plants/family)
Or may be you have just to be glad of the clientele you have, note your desire for more (whatever), and let the whole thing go to manifest of itself in its own way?
ps and a laptop and 5K a year sterling
God Pam – That is beautiful…Really. That is a great perspective. I feel you.
If you want to read it up Cowboyiam Martha Beck writes these ideas tho finally she is perhaps too ‘indulgent’ (Ursula le Guin and Earthsea and the equilibrium?)
A friend said she wonders if there is a link with people and their circumstances and blood types ie O(-?) is the universal donor, AB(+?) universal recipient etc
this little argument does reflect what i was experiencing at my former workplace. is it a business when the customers are part of the product? that’s a school! (sort of) and what’s a school but a happy circumstance where some people got the wisdom and stuff-to-know and some people don’t and all we have to do is spread it all around. is that a business? no i don’t think so i think it’s a little more like a church, somehow. anyway Eric said in a planetwaves.fm that if i, as a student, come up with a little whatever contribution he’ll use it, and that’s what i guess i’m paying for, along with all the contributions. who’s the robot now? i think that’s Eric, integrating contributions and spitting out answers. that’s fine. that’s a little experimental with the knowledge end but with the current-time (news and politics) cutting edge focus it works. what i like is that Eric does not delegate “businessman” to somebody else, much. then you just get Lame and Inauthentic Marketing as is the usual. (and the time, effort and thought that being writer, editor, businessman requires is a little mind-boggling. punky brewster DIY vision is awesome!!! ermmm) well. IMO this is a good experimental business model of something more like school, exactly what i was trying to do in real life but they put me way in the corner, and then you only get “special cases” in private and, well… blah that’s the oldest profession in the world somehow. and not robotic. maybe. anyway, i think either of these models — community college and this — bog down when we forget how nontraditional they are. at least you don’t have a union! (not to be anti-union…) apparently there’s no money in it, though. i know i need to upgrade my membership here — if I’m even justified and welcome! — but i’m down to eighty bucks a month income and the question of whether i’m a crazy employable person or a crazy too-unemployable person. most of the time i’m competent and employable but can i have a month off just roughly out of the blue sometimes? i must want to be rich. bring on the lottery tickets. at any rate the tutoring thing where you see the same people week by week starts you second guessing your students’ dreams, your students, yourself, and finally the subject a little too much for comfort. but thankfully, there really is no church of chemistry apart from the church of the history of chemistry and, you know, the real world. what eric does is valuable. can planet waves have a subsidy?
I think this IS the business of the future – but it will obey the same rules – To deliver content (product) in the most efficient way. And the consumers will always dictate what that is. The producer will accept that situation or not. Those that do will survive, and even thrive; those that do not will disappear as millions of businesses’ have in the past.
Cowboyiam, Or sometimes it is possible to educate the consumer so they realise they are missing something needed?
I don’t know what that means?
Only that sometimes you stumble on something that gives you something rather than is just something you have researched and chosen. There is a two way street (of course you want to give/receive good service but isn’t the essential the elastic point of (possible) transition that is also always present in exchange tho we tend to use the street only in one ‘direction’ and measure stuff by money/material criteria).
Also with ‘indulgent’ I may be too hasty – if you align with what wishes to manifet and assuming everyone is aligned with the best good at base. But still! African hunting dogs – how does that work if you are an antelope in the area. Just ‘llife’?
Still considering! (Always thursday’s child as you see! (far to go!))
ps also ‘new discoveries’ and services that ‘everybody wants’ because they are considered so desirable – market forces are modified (?) in those two instances quite often. Also if you have lots of wealth (money beauty class) you can avoid contact with mundane reality quite often whether it is by reducing stress or actually having the rules bent for you
And then whether you say ‘No’ or not and to whom. ie some are like Atticus (To Kill a Mockingbird) and ‘market forces’ don’t really apply to them either?
Harper Lee has a new book coming out in the summer doesn’t she that she wrote before TKAM and reckoned was a pretty good effort.
I loved the movie “To kill a Mockingbird” but I have never read the book. I think I should read the book. Thanks for your comments.
(Cowboyiam what you said about business and service isn’t wrong just that further out from the ‘classique’ view other things can come into play aswell. Or even that the established practice becomes ‘tired’ with time and new water is necessary unless you can put your business somehow in the stream of life so that it is always renewing itself?)
or something!
Atticus doesn’t really say ‘no’ as such but he accepts to go against the stream even if he can’t ‘win’. As he said to the children about Mme Dubose – courage is knowing you are beat before you start and doing it anyway and sometimes you win through against all odds
Having finished Finding your Way, by Martha Beck. Found alot in it. Useful. Funny. Eric/comboyiam it might have practical ideas for your thoughts about business/finances…. Worth a look anyway
You’re hilarious, William. Thank you, this made it much easier to laugh at myself. The Visa commercial came to mind, with a change in the tagline – ‘What’s in YOUR Neptune?’