The Dream of a Common Language — With Yourself

Dear Friend and Reader:

On Wednesday, Venus turns to retrograde motion in Gemini. The retrograde effect has been present for a while, as Venus and Vesta have been moving through Gemini in a long conjunction, which culminates over the next couple of weeks. The retrograde lasts through June 25, though Venus finally leaves Gemini and enters Cancer on Aug. 7. I consider that the duration of the process.

I have a number of presentations on Venus retrograde conjunct Vesta, including a special edition of Tantra Studio focused exclusively on the topic, from a deep healing perspective. The entire DHARMA series of readings looks at the retrograde from the the perspectives of the Sun and rising signs (that comes with many other resources). There is a lot to this event.

What I have for you today is a simple message from this retrograde: it is about reconciling with yourself.

It’s my observation that many people are in some state of conflict with themselves, often profound and just as often concealed or covert. Yet it is still conflict, and it can be debilitating. Inner strife is rarely seen for what it is; rarely given a name. More often it is projected into relationships, so it seems that’s where it’s happening.

Yet I would propose that with some honest reflection, we might agree that much of the struggle in relationships is some form of externalized inner crisis.

The quality of the inner dialog can be described by Gemini. Those two twins are within all of us. They either get along or they do not. Venus retrograde in Gemini will help you notice where you stand with yourself. It will draw your dialog inward. Vesta will help with that, as it can put some distance between you and the people who might distract you from your inner quest.

It can be uncomfortable, odd or embarrassing for people to reclaim their relationship with themselves. Many factors tend to separate people from their own inner awareness, most notably relationships and professional commitments. We are entering an extended opportunity to pause some of that and rekindle the inner fire.

Photo by Lanvi Nguyen.

Part of what many people learn in therapy is how to prioritize their own feelings, and also, how to communicate with themselves in a gentler way. Venus will facilitate that, as it brings a measure of sensitivity and the ability to put feelings into words.

It’s noteworthy that Venus and Vesta are holding a long square aspect to Neptune. That suggests that an important part of this process is learning how to be honest with yourself. There are many sly forms of self-deception. Lots of them are disguised as adaptation: for example, doing what is necessary for the sake of a relationship.

Now is a good time to skip that part, and do what is necessary for your relationship to yourself. Make the space to do this. Define this mission as an organizing principle of your time and your space (a Vesta concept).

I have noticed in many years of doing depth work with my clients that those with prominent Vesta have a tendency to prepare partners for their next relationship experience. That might be for the love of their life, for marriage, for the person they have a child with, or even a change in sexual orientation.

We can take that principle and apply it inward. This is the time to prepare for the next phase of your relationship with yourself. There are many facets to this, though gaining some inner peace and the ability to live in harmony with yourself is really the crux of the matter. So too is understanding what you’re trying to say to yourself. And it’s necessary to devote oneself to the healing matters you know you must attend to — and that being in a relationship might have interfered with.

You might say that this retrograde is about fulfilling the dream of a common language — with yourself. I describe this in detail in my Tantra Studio presentation from a few weeks ago. It’s only an hour long and has received excellent feedback.

With love,

Illustration by Amy Elliott.