Pushing, Letting It Be and Other Options

By Rob Moore

I can still recall the excitement in my chest while I sat waiting in that coffee house all those years ago. When at last Travis walked through the door, he also walked right into my heart and staked a claim on every part of my being. God, I adored that guy. There was so much I got about him.

Calming the Storm by Rob Moore.

Calming the Storm by Rob Moore.

I knew, for instance, how his gruff exterior was merely covering a deeply sensitive fellow traveller underneath. After all, it was my story, too.

Nearly inseparable for two weeks, one night we entered into a rather deep and revealing conversation about our personal pasts. Travis began to relate stories from his upbringing that clearly indicated physical abuse.

Caring so deeply for him, I asked if he understood the misguided nature of those harsh actions taken out on him. He said he didn’t see it that way. He seemed puzzled by the suggestion and started getting a bit defensive.

Let me just say that — largely because of what happened next — today if I were in the same situation I would give the topic a rest for the time being. Perhaps set the intention to discuss this further once our relationship had established solid roots. But back then, all I could see were the facts of abuse pitted against misplaced trust. I so adored this sweetheart of a guy, I felt it was my duty to make the reality clear to him.

So I pushed my points. And persisted. He asked me to stop. I didn’t. He said he didn’t want to talk about this. I did anyway. I was certain he had to know. Everything in me said he simply had to understand. I pushed and prodded and persisted some more. In a matter of minutes, he snatched up his stuff and bolted out the door, never to return again.

My story involves several similarities to the current astrology, not the least of which involves planets in retrograde or about to be. Had I worked with astrology consciously, the outcome would have been exceedingly more favorable. Nevertheless, this direct experience is how I learned. Mistakes and missteps such as these were the exact moments when the light bulbs clicked on. That’s why I so frequently relate such things to you.

Right out of the gate in the latest Planet Waves FM, Eric considers current retrograde transits from a purely scientific point of view, pointing out that all astrology is really about what Earth is doing. I found this to be a remarkably simple yet remarkably clear explanation of how this system works with us and for us.

The more I have applied astrology, the more I have come to see it consistently maps out the most fortuitous general directions currently wide open to us. What we do from there is entirely up to us, and any solutions are as varied as we are as individuals.

Oh, if only in those Travis days I had understood the impeccable direction and timing that astrology affords us. I was just beginning to seriously explore it back then. I can tell you, though, that Mercury was retrograde. As my jury was still out on the validity of astrology, I ignored indications that meanings could easily be misconstrued during this phase. I instead clutched those misunderstandings ever tighter and just plowed them right on through.

I assure you things would be very different today. Very different. Retrograde planets or not, more than trying to pinpoint facts, I would instead set out to demonstrate care, affection and respect during the course of our connection.

Incidentally, in addition to the present Mars retrograde, Mercury is currently in shadow phase before heading into apparent reverse motion April 28. So if there were ever times to tread on the easier end of the spectrum with points of view and finalizing decisions, we are among them.

Are there such situations looming large for you now? Particularly where significant others are involved — and anywhere it appears some big, sweeping move needs to be made — there is a way to ease the undue pressure. Or at least to feel at peace with how you choose to respond. It’s something that is common knowledge to so many of us, yet so incredibly easy to slip out of our mental consideration just when we need it most.

Among the areas I touched on in last week’s post was shame following sexual interaction. It occurred to me afterward that it might do to explain exactly how it is that I am ‘baffled’ by what is such a common human condition. In my twenties, following an AA crash-course on no longer being a people-pleaser, I set out to find connection with what I consider a reliable ‘source’ of wisdom and direction in my life. That concept has had many incarnations for me over the years, the most recent being the very highest aspect of my own self — my own energetic presence.

Yet when it comes to feeling completely satisfied with our decisions and actions — be it sex or what we said to the server at Starbucks this morning — the solution is exactly the same regardless of our concept of ‘God’ or ‘source’. Even the old-man-on-a-cloud idea will do just fine as long as we understand to our core that he, she or it is pro-joy about life and therefore pro-joy about you and me.

Okay, at last… the big reveal. The way to feel at total peace with what transpires: stopping and offering the situation over to our personal source for the wisest and most fortuitous way to become clear. In all likelihood, not a ground-shaking revelation for you. Thing is, though, I have learned the hard way just how invaluable this practice is for even the minutest of things. Like how we respond to a text or something.

It is just so second nature when it comes to seemingly minor undertakings to think, “I got this,” and plow on ahead. Besides, it’s no big deal, right? But I’ve noticed whenever I feel the slightest doubt about what direction I’ll be happiest with, if I lay out my intentions before my guidance, nine times out of ten something will dawn on me that I overlooked. Something that makes my effort really worth it to me now. Something that I would’ve been kicking myself ten minutes later for not thinking about.

 The Spring Reading is now published. Order all 12 signs here or choose your individual signs here for immediate access. You may listen to a free audio introduction here.

The Spring Reading is now published. You may order all 12 signs here or choose your individual signs here for immediate access. You may listen to a free audio introduction here now.

As mentioned, though, so often when we could really benefit from taking this brief pause, it doesn’t even enter our mind.

The good news is that offering whatever has already happened for correction — to either the situation or our perception or both — works wonders, too. Honestly, just look for the shift that occurs or the opportunity to make one yourself.

Nevertheless, it’s so much more efficient to get our brains and our actions and the highest knowing available to us all on board from the get-go. Besides, I’ve noticed the brain alone has a chamber of guilt-trips it has no problem pulling from if given the upper hand.

And so it was with my brain in regards to my pushing, prodding and not even considering the prevailing vibe of the room, the sofa, the relationship or the moment with Travis. I bashed myself with regret for years for crushing something so delicate right into the dirt. For mirroring, albeit in a different way, the exact kind of disrespect I was warning Travis about.

These days, I would have offered the entire evening over to my guidance beforehand. At minimum, halfway through the first push, I would have remembered my earlier appeal for higher wisdom and then scanned inside for inklings of a more enlightened way forward.

Particularly where relationships feature during the stop-and-go nature of our current astrological environment, I highly recommend accessing the peace of mind this little practice offers. Wherever opportunities for deepening our connections are on offer — be it through sexual interaction, heartfelt conversation or whatever — knowing that a higher level of wisdom and foresight are actively involved in how things play out really eases the pressure and transforms the experience. So, if the most I’ve done today is remind you what a good idea this actually is, just wait till you remember how good it feels.

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About Rob Moore

Rob Moore is a published author and has a strong background in art direction and image work. Ever seeking to identify the truths recurring through his own life and that of others, Rob continues to express his findings via writing and imagery. Please visit r0b1.com to learn more.

9 thoughts on “Pushing, Letting It Be and Other Options

  1. Lizzy

    You know Rob, as I was reading your words, it popped into my head, that you were probably the first person to invite Travis to look at his past in order to heal – and though he ran off, your words might have had a life-changing effect on him, and he might well be eternally grateful to you for your care. One never knows… But, as always, the message you convey is so true and wise. Thank you for this lovely piece.

  2. Rob Moore Post author

    I suspect you are right, Lizzy, about it being new information for him. And I also believe we all get what exactly what we need when we get it. So indeed, the possibility that it served a big picture is one I can live with comfortably.

    For me, though, it truly was part of a continuing education in how much is too much in delicate situations such as these. Something that for sure has served me well ever since.

    Thank you for your thoughts on this, Lizzy =]

  3. Amy Trafford

    Thank you, Dear Rob.
    I needed this.
    For me it is a reminder to pay attention.
    To my body, my own energetic and sensual experience, which is where I feel things before my mind can come in with words to match my experience.
    To take a real breath and feel the channel of energy that connects me to God as I know God.
    Is my “hot button” (trauma reaction) pushed?
    If I feel the need to respond, where is that need coming from? (Am I reacting, disconnected from my heart, instead of RESPONDING, from within my heart?)
    Are my thoughts swirling? If so….that is a warning for me to take some time and let those stories subside….
    And if I mess up….forgive myself. Learn and commit and ask for help to do it differently next time.
    Thanks again.

  4. Bette

    Thank-you for this story & subsequent reflections, Rob. I’ve been thinking since I read it yesterday about my own history, & the parts of it that have been coming to mind.

    Over the years, I know that I blew up/sabotaged more than one potentially good relationship by pushing rather then letting. I believe I did so out of an inability to live with uncertainty. I wanted clearly stated feelings – or some sense of commitment – in order, I suppose, to feel safer in my own feelings, less vulnerable. The situations were different from yours, of course, but the outcomes for me were not dissimilar in their regret & pain.

    Now that I’m older – much older – I can listen better, read the energetic environment more clearly, & hence be more aware, but I am also pretty much fine with uncertainty. I haven’t been tested in the relationship area for many years, & do not expect to be, living in an isolated place quite devoid of eligible, kindred-sprit men, but there’s a quiet comfort in being confident that I could live with relationship uncertainty as well as I do with other uncertainties in the times we are living through.

    I agree with Lizzy, & with your remark “we always get exactly what we need when we get it.” Something painful may indeed serve the bigger picture, the greater good. One never knows what may have grown from a thought-seed planted in the mind & heart of another.

  5. Rob Moore Post author

    I appreciate what you share here, Bette. And actually it’s pretty much my same timeline of events. I always needed that concrete statement/position, too, and rarely got it which exacerbated my impatience and impulse to push.

    Like you, it has really only been in recent years that I have come to relax into ‘what is’ regardless of labels and regardless of what may well give way to something different tomorrow. For me, it is the result of at last — after all these many years meditating, etc. — finding my grounded self. It’s really all I was looking for. And besides, no kind of relationship can be happily maintained without that being in place.

    Anyway, akin to ‘we always get we what need’, processes take as long as they take. So I always come back to the idea that no time or experience has been wasted.

    Oh, another pearl of wisdom: ‘When the student is ready the teacher appears.’ On that note, I might not be so fast to write off upcoming possibilities based on geographics. Just sayin’.

    Thanks again for your thoughtful response =]

  6. Bette

    Thanks, Rob – your reminders are well taken. Everything does indeed arrive in its own good time, & true, although this is an isolated place, there ARE roads in & out. Don’t think I’m ready to greet anyone, though – working on my house/outer environment, which of course is every bit a part of inner work too. As within….as without…yes.

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