Pope Francis Beatifies Catholic Justice Antonin Scalia

Posted by Eric Francis

POPE-FRANCIS-facebook

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis today beatified the late Antonin Scalia, who died Saturday in Texas at age 79. According to Roman Catholic canonical law, a deceased person can be beatified if they have one documented miracle to their credit.

POPE-FRANCIS-facebook

VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis today beatified the late Antonin Scalia, who died Saturday in Texas at age 79. According to Roman Catholic canonical law, a deceased person can be beatified if they have one documented miracle to their credit.

“He had many,” said Pope Francis, speaking from the Vatican balcony, where millions had gathered below. “There were a good few. He was already a saint in the minds of the people, even when alive. Kind of like Amma.”

Scalia’s incorruptible body will lie in state in a glass case under the rotunda of the Supreme Court beginning Wednesday for 1,000 years, until Feb. 18, 3016, according to a statement from the court.

220px-Antonin_Scalia,_SCOTUS_photo_portrait

Despite the fact that he was out shooting quail the previous day, no foul play is suspected.

Scalia needs just one more miracle to be canonized, which was expected to be shortly. Until recently, it took three miracles to become a saint, but there is now a 33% discount, on which basis St. John Paul was canonized recently.

“If Trump gets elected, that would count as a bona fide miracle,” said Archbishop Timothy Dolan of the New York Archdiocese. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, reached for comment Sunday, said she agreed.

Scalia — a native of New Jersey who grew up in Queens, played stickball and married his elementary school sweetheart — had nine children, none of whom ever smoked marijuana. As of Sunday, a cathedral was being built in his honor on a vacant lot where his former elementary school was located.

And in Trenton, 500 units of affordable housing were bulldozed Saturday night to make room for a memorial plaza in Scalia’s honor, according to Gov. Chris Christie’s office.

“It remains to be seen whether Scalia will have been more dangerous in his body or out of it,” said Chuck Schumer, the senior senator from New York State.

Meanwhile, a mob had gathered outside 30 Rockefeller Plaza, where NBC Universal is located. Upon investigating the situation, they turned out to be all the video archive researchers reporting for work on Sunday at the Rachel Maddow Show.

Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee, today announced that all further Republican debates would be suspended till further notice, to make room on the airwaves for the TV specials honoring the life of St. Scalia.

“The RNC will never have a chairperson,” Priebus added.

3 thoughts on “Pope Francis Beatifies Catholic Justice Antonin Scalia

Leave a Reply