Editor’s Note: Below is one of Eric’s answers to a reader letter from his Astrology Secrets Revealed series on Jonathan Cainer’s site. It was first published on July 28, 2006. — Amanda P.
Hello, Mr Francis,
My name is Michelle Jones. I love reading your writings. My question is: What is in my astrological chart that keeps me confused, unsure of my choices, prone to failure, and a magnet for attracting deceptive people into my life experiences? With so much negativity that goes on in my life, I feel like I am not supposed to be here. Is that possible?
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your feedback.
Truth be told, you have a challenging chart, and you’ve not been going through an easy stretch the past few years, either. The overall life situation you’re describing is not based on any one astrological (or biographical) factor, but rather a combination of factors, several of which I will go over, with some basic interpretations.
But I want to start off by suggesting you get yourself a copy of A General Theory of Love. This will explain the way that family patterns create lasting emotional and mental chaos in our adult lives and relationships, and why working with a therapist for a few years is one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself.
Here’s why I’m saying this up front and not as an afterthought. As effective as any astrological information may be (and astrology CAN help you, particularly practiced in the long run), it helps immensely to be in a process of highly focused self-discovery, with someone who has been down many roads before you. Ideally, a relationship with a therapist is somewhere you can BE YOURSELF without ANY fuss, fear or interference, and then, in the course of the work, practice doing just that.
We all have a lot to sort out. You’re fortunate that being American, you’re likely to be a lot more open to help than people in many other countries. Astrology can give you the starting point; but you need to take the ball and run with it. Imagine, though, that it’s not a ball, but rather you as a little child, who you have to pick up and carry for a few years, until that child is strong enough to walk on her own.
The first thing I see is an image of yourself as a child, in the form of the 7th house Pisces Moon. The Moon in Pisces is the great sponge of the zodiac. Its personality traits are a high level of emotionality, absorbing the emotions and psychic projections of others, and somewhat unsteady moods. The Moon helps us clarify and define our needs, and with the Pisces Moon it can be very difficult for you to do so — therefore, you can always be trying to adapt yourself to the needs of others, or depending on them for a clear image of yourself. This is a fine way to get lost. There are plenty who would take advantage of someone doing that.
The Pisces Moon is placed in your 7th house — your relationship house. So, you take that whole paragraph above and put it in one of the most directly, personally relevant houses in the chart. This placement tells me a few things that confirm exactly what you report in your letter. One is that it’s very easy for people to take advantage of you. Two is that it’s difficult for you to have clear boundaries with people. Three (an example of point two) is that it’s difficult for you to sort out your needs from those close to you. Four, you tend to see what you want to see in people, rather than what is actually there.
Why does this happen? Well, if you wrote an essay called, “My Mother’s Relationships With Men,” you would learn a lot.
When I first read your question a few weeks ago, I said, hmmm, sounds like Neptune. Everything you describe in your question has characteristics of a struggle of some kind with Neptune. Neptune is the planet that makes people into Mother Theresa or a horrid liar. It’s the one that grants stunning artistic sensitivity, or addictive tendencies. It is EASY to corrupt, about as easy as it is to poison a lake. And it looks like when you were young, someone did a number on your trust. I can see this from Mars square Neptune.
This aspect speaks of a not so easy environment to grow up in, and it tends (as does the Pisces Moon) to blur the lines between truth and lies, healthy or toxic, creative or destructive. The patterns are always set early and then we have to do all the sorting out when we’re older and realize that things are not going so well. But it takes a lot of clarity; devotion; awareness; and dedication to your own cause, which for you is not easy.
You CAN do this. But you have to be very stringent when it comes to matters of truth. If you catch anyone lying to you once, that needs to be the last time. I would also banish anyone from your life whose relationship with intoxicating substances is anything less than healthy. But the same is true for people who overdo any aspect of Neptune, from personal drama, to religion, to those who are not grounded and tend to uproot you.
But here’s the real catch: owning your self-deception and not projecting this onto others. You must always acknowledge when you’re telling yourself the truth, and when you’re telling yourself little lies. I am sure you know — the goal is to be fully conscious of the knowing, and then change your tune.
The past few years you’ve been going through a series of transits that have been shaking you up. These include transits from Uranus and Pluto which have been enforcing and imposing all kinds of changes on your life. To say chaos would be an understatement. In particular, Uranus crossing your 7th house cusp in 2003 and making a series of conjunctions to your Moon has probably brought one of the most unstable times in your life. Yet you may have also met some inspiring, exciting characters — though I don’t doubt you’re wondering whether they’re really good for you.
But they seem to have taught you to hold your own and to define your own reality with others. This is, in essence, the theme of your life: defining your identity, and finding yourself in your relationships. I have seen enough astrology like this, and talked to enough people, and have read your letter carefully enough, to know — this is likely to be VERY difficult for you.
You need the needs of others to define yourself, it would appear. Too much of this can be self-destructive, and to the extent that you do need the needs of others, you must contain that energy within a structure, such as volunteer work with animals (people are too darned complex, really). The path of a chart like yours is often service; strong Virgo and Pisces as you have will always benefit from serving. But this must be conscious, healthy service.
But more important is true introspection; inner vision. There are spiritual paths that can help, but I must tell you that I’m not the biggest believer. I feel that the strongest, most durable path of introspection when we really need help is working with a solid therapist, someone older than ourselves, who is of the gender that you have the least difficulty trusting. If you have more difficulty trusting women, get a male therapist, and vice versa.
You still have some very helpful and life changing midlife transits ahead of you. And as you get clear and make decisions, and most of all, as you define your own existence and set the terms of your relationships, you will only benefit. The fact that you have written to this column is telling me you’re ready to clear your mind and accept the help you need. Let this be a beginning.
Please stay in touch, Michelle.