The Art Of Mindful Oral Sex: A Guide For Men & Women

Posted by Planet Waves

Gia Ravazzotti

This week’s sex-and-relationships guest-post comes (pun intended) from sex therapist Gia Ravazzotti. With Venus in Taurus, the sky is emphasizing sensual pleasures — just substitute “vulva” where it says “vagina,” or your lover might wonder what you’re doing as you get a cramp in your tongue trying to reach in that far.

Note: This week’s sex-and-relationships guest-post comes courtesy of Mind Body Green, where you can read the full piece. With Venus in Taurus, the sky is emphasizing sensual pleasures — just be sure you substitute “vulva” where Gia writes “vagina,” or you might get a cramp in your tongue trying to reach in that far… — Amanda P.

By Gia Ravazzotti

Oral sex can be one of the most beautiful expressions of intimacy, desire and love for a partner or lover.

Gia Ravazzotti

Gia Ravazzotti

For men and women alike, the act of giving oral sex can actually create sensations throughout her body that will enhance and increase feelings of sexual pleasure. Some women report that they get more aroused from giving oral sex, than from any other kind of foreplay activity.

Let’s face it: it’s incredibly sexy to observe someone else experiencing sexual pleasure. But to get the most enjoyment from offering a oral sex to another person, one needs to be exceptionally mindful and present during the act.

Whether or not we admit it, if you are giving your partner oral pleasure simply as a means to an end, then you probably won’t enjoy it as much.

Getting into the mindset that you are pleasuring your partner for your stimulation as well can be a real game-changer. These simple steps might allow you to both give and receive more pleasure when you are going down on your partner.

1. Ask permission.

Firstly, always ask permission first. You may be in the mood to pleasure your partner, but check in with them first. If your partner isn’t in the mood, then don’t be disappointed. Allowing a space in a relationship for either partner to say no without consequence removes many unnecessary barriers regarding sex. Knowing that you both have the freedom to take a rain check creates much more trust and intimacy in your sexual relating than if you react negatively to their “no.”

2. Use your eyes.

Before you even start, look at your partner’s penis or vagina. I love it when clients tell me that they think their partner’s genitalia is beautiful! Have a real, proper look.

Continue reading here.

Gia Ravazzotti ( is a clinically qualified sex therapist and relationship counsellor with a Masters of Sexual Health based in Sydney, Australia. She loves writing and is the sexual health expert for SheKnows Australia. Gia has been consulted as a sex and relationships expert for Cosmopolitan, Cleo Magazine and OK! Magazine. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.