Strange Dreams

Last night I dreamed I was hired as a nursing assistant to take care of Donald Trump. Coming after deliberately avoiding political coverage for the weekend, I found this dream an unwelcome excursion by the Republican Party into my psyche.


The awful, awful week Trump has had since Hillary’s post-DNC convention trampoline bounce has been something to behold. The backlash in reaction to Trump’s comments against Khizr Khan and his family sent a large number of stalwart middle-of-the road Republicans literally to the Hills — as in Mrs. Clinton. Seeing the abyss awaiting on Election Day, the Republican National Committee — the group in charge of electing Republicans to the White House and Congress — was compelled to take @realDonaldTrump out to pasture.

I saw no Trump tweets re-tweeted over the weekend. Or at least nothing that would add more gasoline to the fire still smouldering after Trump’s Twitter meltdown last weekend. If there were tweets, they were measured. It appears the campaign took over his Twitter account to make him appear more grounded. The real Donald Trump was missing in action, muzzled to canned campaign talking points and sound bytes.

I know given my record of coverage here my dream of feeling compassion for the man is out of character. To dream of taking care of and feeling pity for the Donald was more alarming than the other dream I had earlier last night, of dispatching a serial murderer from my community.

But that alarm is for reasons other than what you think. I am not missing Mr. Trump. I miss the thing about Trump the political candidate that makes him so compelling. A few weeks ago in “Day One”, I made a comment which I expand here: the degree of fear projected on us (by the campaign) is toxic — radioactive. It is also addictive. It triggers intense feelings of fear and anger, which is followed by depression and powerlessness. And it’s that powerless void that “Strong Men” want to fill.

Trump’s negative stimulus enlivens the survival part of the brain, which thrives on it; and it gives people who have difficulty expressing themselves or don’t have means to express what they feel a chance to say what they really feel, ‘politically correct’ or not. The Trump stimulus provides vehicle and validation to express the aggressive feelings bubbling underneath our American skin. That release, as well as our horrified reaction to it, becomes deeply gratifying.

In a sense it all sounds like the very essence of methamphetamine’s appeal. The glory of the first adrenal rush, which ultimately leads one down the road to ruin. Which is why the new, improved-and-muted Trump — introduced to us by the forward motion of his ascendant from a proud and overbearing Leo, on its last anaretic degree, lunging toward zero Virgo — is indeed a strange sight.

As Eric described this point about Trump, excerpted here from his column, What’s Up With Trump? Let’s Check his Progressed Chart:

The Sun in Leo these past 30 years has coincided with Trump’s rise as the Republican candidate, which he seemed to do on the force of personality (a good image of Sun in the ascendant degree). I would say he’s proceeded with the force of his ego, but the correct psychological term is id.

Trump’s progressed Sun is not only crossing his rising degree; it’s ending a 30-year cycle and changing signs, all at the same time. The sign change is from Leo to Virgo. His Sun has been in its own sign for all those years — a masculine, hot, fiery, fixed sign. It’s now about to enter Virgo, a feminine, cool, moist, mutable sign.

Virgo presents challenges for many men, because it’s just so feminine. Any well-adapted Virgo man has a touch of transgender to him…we are seeing Trump, who has lived veiled in his own 12th house for three decades, emerge as the person who he really is…then his hot, fiery, macho, out-of-control Sun is about to get cooled off by Virgo. For him this will feel like being extinguished.

However, there is nothing especially creative about Trump. In true toxic 12th house style, he seems on the brink of losing his mind. Now he will find himself in some other state, as if he’s woken up from a 30-year bender.

Trump isn’t speaking extemporaneously. At least not today. Now he speaks — uncomfortably — from a teleprompter. He is a lion on a leash of iron chained to a wall. It must feel very strange to him. It feels strange to me, which may explain why I have feelings of ‘missing’ him. He has portrayed himself as such an absurdly terrible — almost evil — candidate in such a laughable way over the last year that it was easy and convenient to despise him. He was the obvious black-hatted, mustache-twirling candidate.

This is not to say the toned down Trump will be any better. He’s just more controlled. His arguments and policy bites are more or less Party line: the terrible cafeteria food that is the Republican Party platform of trickle-down economics with a side helping of misogyny and racism. Many believe that Donald Trump the Candidate was planted on the American electorate by the CIA, Bill Clinton and the Democratic Party to get Hillary elected President. Personally, I don’t believe any one of them good enough to do that.

Trump managed on his own, using his brand of id-identified politics to tap into and release the toxic build-up of economic, racial and sexual tension rising to a climax into this country. He did it with deadly efficiency. In that way, he serves a greater social purpose, one that he himself never anticipated. This, on a spiritual level, may ultimately be seen as the point of his campaign — at least from our perspective.


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I have been covering American politics on the web for the last 14 years — since George W. Bush started waging war on Iraq. The polarization of US politics began as a fissure started by a Supreme Court selection of the President in 2000, erupting at the false flag explosion of the Twin Towers.

That fissure collapsed into a great divide in this country which, over the last decade, destroyed civility and more moderate voices in both Republican and Democratic parties.

The end result has been a maddening, life-threatening inertia in government. Trump’s voice provided us — even as negative feedback — a necessary mirror to see how badly that divide has damaged us, and how much more we need not only to grow away from that damage, but to grow up into something much healthier as communities and as a country.

Which brings me back to my original point: compassion towards our enemy, represented by Trump, as a case for compassion for ourselves. As a person who has been through abusive relationships, it wasn’t until I recognized I needed to forgive myself for being involved with such a destructive person that I then began to choose more healthy relationships.

As my friend, a community healer, said to me this weekend: “This country is going through a battle between the dark and the light.” Not in the candidates — they are only symbols — but in our reactions to them.  The healer also said, “We’re getting ready to move out of the womb, setting ourselves up to be born. It’s going to be difficult, but we are moving into something new.”

Our adversaries, like all of our relationships, are a mirror of ourselves. In the meantime, we will have much to do as a nation to heal deep rifts that divide us. We are going to get to work to be healthier — to dream more brightly. I see this all not as a dream, but a possible future. A future that yearns for us to reach it.

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About Fe Bongolan

Planet Waves writer Fe Bongolan lives in Oakland, California. Her column, "Fe-911," has been featured on Planet Waves since 2008. As an actor and dramaturge, Fe is a core member of Cultural Odyssey's "The Medea Project -- Theater for Incarcerated Women," producing work that empowers the voices of all women in trouble, from ex-offenders, women with HIV-AIDS, to young girls and women at risk. A Planet Waves fan from almost the beginning of Eric's astrology career, Fe is a public sector employee who describes herself as a "mystical public servant." When it comes to art, culture and politics, she loves reading between the lines.

7 thoughts on “Strange Dreams

  1. Fe Bongolan Post author

    Trump’s love affair with presidency is over.

    There is only one reasonable explanation for Donald Trump’s erratic behavior in recent weeks. His infatuation with the presidency apparently has ended.

    Like a schoolboy falling for a girl the very first time, Trump was bewitched by the grandeur of the title “Mr. President.” The power and prestige that go along with being the leader of the free world would far exceed the notoriety of the high-rise hotels and steaks that bear his name.

    So for months, Trump flirted with the idea of being president. He pursued his new passion with a vengeance, trampling over 16 other suitors who got in his way. He teased potential supporters with merciless vigor, bringing them to the point of complete surrender, convinced America could not survive without him at the helm.

    They fell in love with his brash demeanor, his uncensored voice and his irreverent behavior. But for Trump, the feelings never ran as deep. For him, it was merely a crush.

    Days after the engagement party in Cleveland, where he secured his party’s nomination, the thrill of winning had all but subsided. The pursuit, perhaps, was more exciting than the prize.

    Since the Republican National Convention, he has made blunder after blunder. He seems to be doing everything possible to show that he wants out.

  2. Barbara Koehler

    Sometimes I feel so used by the gods and goddesses, or the Universe in general maybe. Don’t you? But then, that’s what we are here for and as you point out Fe, many are wising up to this understanding. Perhaps some day, when he is 80 maybe, Trump will appreciate the valuable service he has rendered the U.S. if not the entire world.

    The phrase I most appreciate about the sign of Gemini, Trump’s Sun sign, is that it pushes boundaries. Is there any question that the Donald has done that in spades?

    Thanks too for enfolding this recent slide out of character for Trump into a perspective that encompasses the 2000 U.S. Presidential election. That May, in 2000, marked the beginning of a cultural/societal cycle symbolized by the coming together of the planets Jupiter and Saturn at 22+ Taurus. Notwithstanding that this was a global event, there were a couple of things about that meeting that linked it to the U.S. Sibly chart. They were Neptune things and Neptune is the hallmark of theater, entertainment, drama and illusion.

    At 22+ Taurus, this 20 year cycle between Jupiter and Saturn began in a trine with the U.S. Neptune at 22+ Virgo. At 6+ Aquarius, transiting Neptune at the time of the 2000 Jupiter-Saturn conjunction was conjunct the U.S. Sibly chart South Node at 6+ Aquarius. South Nodes suggest a release point for patterns no longer serving growth. Can there be any question that the drama we have lived through in this country for the last 16 years is anything less than world class?

    There is also the square that Uranus made to the Jupiter-Saturn conjunction that guaranteed the drama would be explosive. Are you aware that transiting Eris was sextile transiting Uranus in 2000? I wasn’t. Sixteen years of volatility and hostility aiming to challenge this cycle of social change has accomplished much growth and still has another 4+ years to go!

    Think about it. . . the usurping of the Presidency in 2000 was shocking indeed. Then the Twin Towers came down – on TV for all to see – and that was even more shocking. Think about the deceit of the forever war that was, shall we say, trumped up, all the expose’ that came with Assad and then Snowden.

    The innocent flower-power that had been ushered in by the 60’s Uranus-Pluto cycle gave way to Greed is Good and the age of technology. Is it any wonder that this coupled with the loss of jobs and the rise of the Corporate World’s influence becoming equal in the eyes of the Law with the American voters has dissolved our sense of boundaries, safety or tradition? That is the job of Neptune is it not?

    Well, what the hell, it had to happen eventually. As your friend said we are being born again, and knowing this makes it a little easier to experience. Especially when there are bunches of us that realize what is happening. For those others, we have Trump. Those who are dazed and disgruntled with the reality of a black president and all this confusion over which bathroom to use, gay marriages and Black Lives Matter, the Donald offers an escape from all this Reality. Donald’s Gemini Sun squares the U.S. Virgo Neptune, and so does Donald’s Moon in Sagittarius. Donald’s Mars opposes the U.S. Sibly Moon too. That will be tested by this month’s Aquarius Full Moon.

    Keep us posted on any other strange dreams you have Fe, and be careful what you eat before you go to sleep. 🙂

    1. Fe Bongolan

      Hey Barb, Thank You!

      I am finding Twitter to be a useful tool in what is NOT being said as much as is. Twitteristas tend to encapsulate complex reaction into simple one word descriptions, like Mr. Trump’s “Sad.” This has no quality of deep consideration or review and discernment of ideas, just reaction, which I guess is all his Gemini-ness can handle. Lately he doesn’t even have that. It feels canned.

      I believe what my friend tells me, she has been watching this happen — that we are in a difficult birthing process — from street-level and for so long. We both concluded at the end of our conversation that an even deeper generosity is needed in the world. Not less, more. We need to decide how we want to expand the world, even while pieces of it float off — another thing we’ve been saying here at PW for weeks now.

  3. Pisces Sun

    You speak the truth Fe, every ounce of my being is aligned with what you say, dreamt, and know. We all know its true but are too amazed, I think, to admit it out loud, Trump is a part of us, he signifies us, we created him and like a responsible enabler, we must also work together to address those issues that allowed him to succeed. How? As you said, by looking closely, with compassionate and forgiving eyes, to the degree that one can. “Forgiveness is…the means for correcting our misperceptions.” Gerald Jampolsky. The only way society can heal is to change the energy of fear to a higher vibration of understanding and then addressing those issues that one fears. Its work, it doesn’t have to be national in scope, it can begin with our daily interactions with each other, including how we respond with and to another, friend, family and strangers. We can work from there and if more ambitious, do more. Our futures depend upon us, more than we depend on it. Thanks for writing this post!

    1. Fe Bongolan

      Pisces Sun:

      There is so much beauty and power packed in your comment that it stands on its own like a prayer and poem.

      It took me longer than usual this weekend to get to the heart of this piece before settling down to write it. It took my subconscious to ferret out the conflicted feelings I have experienced recently, covering these big political conventions. My dreams came along like a dependable notepad, jogging my brain forward.

      Another word that comes forth in response to your comment is “listen”, like we never have before. Something we’ve sorely missed through all those pundit fights where people scream at each other for a full 30 minutes and the loudest wins. And all the interviews where the interviewer has to repeat the same question until the interviewee stops yelling his talking point in response and finally answers.

  4. aWord

    I’ve heard it said that we accomplish those goals toward which we set out to achieve. (This is a theory of why sports teams will make to TO a game, but then lose. The goal was set to get there, but not to win the final play.)

    Perhaps Trump has accomplished what he set out to do; win the nomination. Surely he does not actually want to be POTUS.

    Thanks Fe (Be et al).

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