Much of life comes down to taking responsibility for ourselves and for our ‘stuff’, and doing so before we’ve let it undermine us in our dealings with others. Yet there’s the rub: we learn a lot from our mistakes.
Four women (sisters? I mean, look at that hair and synchronized sipping…) waiting for their flight to be called. Photo by Amanda Painter.
We see the truth of our baggage not when it’s all tightly packed and stowed in the overhead compartment, but rather when the zipper fails as it’s been tossed onto the conveyer belt. Suddenly everything’s all out in the open.
And if we’re honest with ourselves, we can admit that maybe we did over-pack that bag, and maybe it is time to sort things out and travel lighter. If displaced anger and shame take over, suddenly the mess is everyone’s fault but ours — and the next time we fly, we repeat the whole uncomfortable scene.
It’s that anger element I want to touch on for a moment. On Tuesday, Eric wrote to Planet Waves subscribers about Monday’s square between Mars in Gemini and Neptune in Pisces, exact May 25 at 7:38 pm EDT / 23:38 UTC. (This aspect also involves retrograde Mercury in Gemini as it develops next week).
He said, “There’s rather significant potential for self-destructive behaviors to resurface. The coolest heads must prevail in all sensitive matters of communication, and even in the most ordinary.”
I’m reiterating his message here because Mars aspects tend to be most palpable as they approach, rather than the day they are exact. Aspects to Neptune also have a very wide orb of influence (that is, they can be felt for days on either side of being exact).
You’ll want to notice if you feel yourself sliding into any old, unhelpful behaviors, especially if it has anything to do with your temper, communication, drugs or alcohol, denial or blame-shifting, evasiveness, deceptiveness and so on. If you tend to push yourself physically even when you know you’re running on fumes, that also counts as “self-destructive.”
In addition to Mars-Neptune and Mercury retrograde, this is an astrologically rich week. Out of all that’s going on, I’d like to mention one other aspect pattern you might notice against the backdrop of Mercury-Mars-Neptune.
The Gemini Sun is opposing retrograde Saturn in Sagittarius (exact Friday at 9:35 EDT / 1:35 UTC Saturday). If you’re running up against someone difficult (especially someone seemingly stuck in their beliefs) this challenging relationship is calling on you to figure out some compromise — so long as you don’t compromise your honesty. Mars-Neptune could make that tricky.
Centaur planet Nessus in Pisces is squaring the Sun and Saturn (Sun square Nessus is exact Sunday). This suggests you’re bringing some emotional baggage or patterning (possibly familial) into the encounter.
Can you see your inner ‘stuff’ for what it is, and choose not to project it onto the other person? Can you see what this other person is reflecting back to you about yourself? Your answers could allow you to reach a healthy solution — through healthy behaviors — if you’re honest with yourself.
Placing your encounters in context — inner and outer, your own and others’ — is essential this week. Don’t forget the illusory, distracting digital context we all live in.
Remembering context can help ground you in reality when your emotions, temper or imagination start to run on their own. Trying to re-pack your bags while in flight still leaves you carrying lots of ‘stuff’ until you finally land.
The great thing (okay, it might not feel great, but trust me here) about encountering this kind of astrology is that, if you stay aware, you can learn a lot. Thanks to Mercury’s current retrograde, some of the lessons might take a while to unfold in their full truth. So take notes on your thoughts, feelings, insights, regrets and questions starting now and through June 11, when Mercury stations direct. Not only might it help you manage difficult situations in the short term but it could help you travel lighter later on.
Yes – I am up against a difficult situation at the moment, dear Amanda – and when I woke up this morning I told myself, drop the attack mode – let it go,, be strong by letting go and finding your centre, rather than attacking (except it’s more a question of defence or counterattack). Your words today touch me so deeply, and are so very helpful. Thank you so much!
Hugs to you Lizzy! You have access to all the tools you need to manage your daily experience. You don’t have to prove how strong you are; you ARE Strength.
Bless you, dear dear Hugging. You can’t imagine how much your kind words help me right now – for many reasons which I won’t go into now. Hugs to you too my dear!
“You don’t have to prove how strong you are; you ARE Strength.”
Wise words, HS, and ones I can often forget.
Lizzy: I totally get that one it feels as though one needs to defend oneself from what feels like some kind of existential threat to our right to exist, to be who we are, things can get harsh. I’m not sure if that’s quite your situation, but I’ve seen it in myself. I am definitely seeking that place/state of being wherein those “threats” no longer rock me. Hang in there!
Many thanks for your kind words and encouragement, dear Amada – you got it! Feels like I’m really being put to the test right now.
Absolutely brilliantly told, Amanda! And yes, i do trust you (and the sky) as regards to the great teaching moment(s) implied by consciously encountering the type of astrology you have so very well described here. Thank you for a forceful tour!
Lizzy or finding the elastic space in yourself that lets others (and yourself) ‘be’ which lets yourself (and others) be.
I know I have to bring that space to one ‘conflict’ . I managed to do so with someone I disliked and just felt the whole thing flip over into mutual liking. (Now have to try with someone else who I absolutely don’t ‘feel’ (and don’t want to d****t! – it is mutual as these things always are…)
xxxp
Beautiful, Pam! I love this “I managed to do so with someone I disliked and just felt the whole thing flip over into mutual liking”. Good for you! Will put this into pratcice today. Many thanks! xx
I agree with Len…! Great post, and picture!
Interesting points. I wonder what inpires someone to appoint themselves as judge and jury (vigilante or otherwise) re: when, how or what any one should call baggage and how that must be dealt with.
Revenge is often the ugliest motivator of all.
KD Mathias — I’m not sure exactly what your situation is. But my intention in writing this piece (knowing that the word “baggage” might be a loaded term for some, but also that it is a familiar term) is to indicate that *we* are the ones responsible for seeing, recognizing/naming and dealing with our *own* baggage — or, to use a more “PW” term, “shadow material.”
I suspect that many times when a person “calls baggage” on another person, they are doing a lot of projecting — or, at least, not a lot of introspection into themselves. We all have shadow “stuff” tucked away.
I know for myself, at the beginning of this week I had a couple of evenings of bringing a lot of anger into my two play rehearsals. I knew why I was feeling so ungrounded and stressed and like I was not able to take care of my needs. I also knew that the way it was coming out (directed at others) was not honest or accurate; I recognized an old, self-destructive pattern revisiting me, wherein something going on in one of my psychological blind spots was kind of coming out sideways — and asking me to own it, see it clearly, investigate it, and find healthier ways to deal with it.
It can be really hard to catch that stuff before it undermines us in relationships we really care about. Hence, my choice to talk about it in this column.
And yes, I agree: revenge is a very, very ugly motivator. And ultimately, a tragic one: it hurts all involved, including the one “seeking” revenge — even if they cannot see that.
Thanks Amanda for describing your experience recently. I know very much what you mean. I had a similar feeling this past Sunday and it reminded me of some past emotional reactions I had and where both were/are coming from. “Taking care of my needs” is pretty central to it.
As the moon was touring Taurus, I found myself trapped between masses of people getting over to the Island. My girlfriend and I waited an hour and a half to cross on the ferry, when normally I would have bolted from the scene. I had to turn on my patience and just relax with it all as I really don’t like being around a lot of people. She wanted to stay and cross, and I like it when she’s happy and that I don’t have to be “Mr. Itinerary”. We finally made it over but it took me some time to regain my positivity and joy. I was putting on a happy face but my frustration wasn’t released.
I was trying hard not to make her feel like she was lugging me around. I even threw my bike lock to the ground in a little hissy fit. Anyway, moments later, we found the perfect beach shielded from the wind, enjoyed the hot sun and took off our clothes for a lovely skinny dip. She didn’t call me on my tantrum and I let it go easier too.
Exactly, HS. Glad you could relate! And I’m happy to hear you and your gal were able to roll with it all. That ease and detachment and understanding are really key.
Yes – briliant photo.
Grateful to know this post is resonating with people! (And yes — I laugh every time I look at this photo. I forget if this was in the Berlin airport or Heathrow that day, but these ladies were just too perfect and captured my imagination.)
Thank you Amanda for the powerful support and reminder. I loved the photo and metaphors around packing our bags and or carrying our baggage around.
I help women do that as a way of uncovering that which blocks, or inhibits, the expression of the deep feminine intelligence that lives in their energetic and physical wombs
I remember last summer flying to New York for a workshop and as I got to my seat I put my carry-on bag on my seat, my small clutch handbag right on top, and went to the restroom.
I returned, placed my carry-on under the seat in front of me and settled into an animated conversation with my two neighbors when a not so subtle voice in my head screened “your hand bag is missing” I checked and sure enough, it was gone.
I checked everywhere. The flight crew made everyone get up and check their surroundings. The pilot made an announcement, trying to inspire people to look again. He even called the restaurant where I bought my lunch. They claimed to have found it and were going to hand it up through the small window in the cockpit. We waited. The bag never came, they called again only to find someone had misspoke. The pilot asked people to look again.
The steward noticing that I was calm but not thinking clearly, came and said “honey, you have no ID, no money and no credit cards. I think you should get off this plane”. The whole passenger body let out a gasp of “ah, geez”. I was bummed to say the least.
As I was getting off, a women grabbed my arm and said “do you have any money?”. I said no and she handed my the $11.00 she had. I got off and the plane pulled away.
As I stood with the airport crew trying to figure out what to do next, the plane starting coming back to the gate. It stopped and out the pilots window flew my clutch.
We all concluded that the women sitting next to me had taken it. She was the only one sitting in my row when I arrived and when I came back from the restroom was very animated and asking lots of questions. There had been so much insistence from the crew for people to look for it, for it to suddenly pop up, seemed suspect.
I’ll never know what really happened except my instance on trusting that people will do the right thing, or not do the wrong thing, has finally been upgraded in my software program.
I get that given the opportunity, people will express their lowest nature as much as they will express their highest nature. Depending on the circumstances, my involvement being part of the circumstances, will determine what that moment of eternity will be. I also got to experience the best in people, that strangers can have my back, regardless of me missing my direct flight, having to wait to take a 2 stop flight, complete with delays, and turning my 7 hour day into a 10 hour day.
I bring my handbag to the restroom now. Why tempt people to express their baggage?
I’d rather help them unpack and repack it.