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Read more in Solstice Fire and the Art of Service, by Eric Francis.
Dear Reader: It’s Independence Day in the U.S., the day celebrating the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the revolution that led to the founding of a new country out of a handful of British colonies. But we experience revolutions of all kinds on a regular basis — from the Arab Spring revolutions that woke us up to the building Uranus-Pluto square, to the small yet momentous inner revolutions we wage to free our minds, bodies and souls from less tangible forms of psychic, karmic and cultural colonization.
As a hat tip to the latter variety, here’s a classic by Eric (first published in 1998) about the revolution that follows when we liberate our sexual pleasure. Sometimes the Art of Service is a downright revolutionary act, when it serves inner freedom. — Amanda
By Eric Francis
If you want a revolution, liberating sexual pleasure is the place to start. And if all you want out of life is to be authentic, open-minded, creative and loving, opening up your sexual life-force is the heart of the matter. How do you do this? If you really want to be free, start with self-love. Learn to give yourself deep and satisfying orgasms, release your guilt and shame, and then watch what happens.
Lucille at Burning Man, in the Erodome at Poly Paradise. Photo by Eric Francis.
Guilt about sex is guilt about life. Guilt about your own sexuality and shame around your pleasure mean that you are struggling for life. Give up the struggle. Just come into yourself and be alive. In this article, I will give some suggestions for how you can practice doing this in some really fun ways.
I recognize that many of us are in some kind of crisis, living in a state of overload or feeling out of control; many of us are looking for direction, and in response, we’re seeking some form of spiritual enlightenment.
Virtually all enlightenment programs teach that love is the answer to everything, and many speak about loving yourself as the essential ingredient to this state of mind. The Golden Rule is to “love thy neighbor as thyself,” but notice that nowhere is there mention of physical self-love and self-pleasuring. Of course, if religion let on that giving yourself great orgasms was the easiest way to find God, love and freedom, you would probably have reasons for knocking on your neighbor’s door other than borrowing a cup of sugar.
And you’d have more creative things to do on a lovely Sunday morning than sit in a dark building hearing about what a bad person you are.
A most interesting article. Thanks indeed.
Last night I had the open relationship conversation again. I expressed my desires without holding back, but with compassion. With Mercury coming off the square with Chiron, Mercury being in my 11th house of objectives, and Chiron being in my 8th, I could not hold my tongue, or dam my feelings one day longer. It was the subject matter of this article that sparked the conversation, my way in, so to speak.
Fireworks flashed in the sky as we sat on the couch, talked, cried, and came to a mutual understanding that our relationship could no longer exist as it was. It had to transform, or end. It was better for both of us to go through the pain, and see how we felt on the other side. Today we woke up, she expressed a few things, we cried some more, made love, cooked breakfast, and we’re going about our day. We’re fine. I feel more like a man, and I feel free.
Michael, I have been dealing with the same issue. Several times since 2012 we have been back in this drama together as we struggle to accept certain facts. I just don’t relate to the boundaries imposed by monogamy while she feels insecure without it. But every time we do finally sit with our differences talk it through and come to acceptance of each others honest desires we end up closer together and happy again. We don’t really solve the fundamental differences, which seem irreconcilable, but by allowing and accepting our uniqueness we connect. It seems like the paradox is that only by letting go do we hang on.
Wow, Cowboyiam, we shared a similar struggle. Thanks for sharing your story.