All Our Children

Posted by Judith Gayle

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I did the unthinkable this week. I watched FOX News for most of a half hour. I have an internal fail safe mechanism that makes it difficult for me to watch people embarrass themselves. I’ve been known to run from a room, hands over my ears, singing LA LA LA at the top of my lungs.

By Judith Gayle | Political Waves

I did the unthinkable this week. I watched FOX News for most of a half hour. I have an internal fail safe mechanism that makes it difficult for me to watch people embarrass themselves. I’ve been known to run from a room, hands over my ears, singing LA LA LA at the top of my lungs. Consider how perilous my lot these days, now that there are no fewer than 15 Republican presidential contenders — potentially five on the left — with even the most sound of mind seemingly able to trip over their own hypocrisy in a heartbeat, blithely unaware that they’ve exposed their inner doofus to media, worldwide.

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Need examples? Scott Walker can’t figure out why his “lovely thing” ultrasound commentary was so offensive to lefties and/or women after having signed a bill into law mandating an unnecessary ultrasound for those wishing to exercise their Constitutional right to abortion. And of course there’s that issue with the Republican sense of humor, requiring some porion of ‘inner Mean Girl’ to tickle their funny bone.

Earlier in the year, Huckabee dipped down into murky imagination to make a transgender joke (about embracing his feminine side so he could shower on the girls side of the gym) that rightfully earned him the scrutiny usually reserved for wonky old Uncle Bertie who wants all the nubile young nieces to sit on his lap at Thanksgiving.

And did I mention a lack of compassion? Ted Cruz thought that making grief-stricken Joe Biden the butt of a political joke on the same day his son was laid to rest was somehow not just acceptable, but unworthy of apology until cyber-culture smacked him on the snout with a rolled up newspaper. And oh yeah, newly announced Lindsey Graham insists he isn’t gay.

Yes, it’s difficult to avoid the gaffes and foibles of potential presidents, a listing of which Mother Jones contributor, Kevin Drum, scrutinized in his blog post, “Why Do So Many Obvious Losers Think They Can Be President?” Drum came to no conclusion, nor did I, rethinking what we know of each of them. All I can say for sure is that my laugh lines are being replaced by wince lines, and there’s more than a year to go.

It’s as if these Oval Office wannabes are hooked on their own selfies, narcissists close to the skin, sure beyond doubt that the nation is with them despite credible and growing evidence that the whole country is quickly shifting left (and surely in defense of continuing the corporatocracy these candidates represent). Life would be easier, no doubt, if they’d stop pretending there is only One Way and it’s theirs. Evangelicals, too.

I didn’t tune in to FOX looking for random content. I wanted to see how the Duggar’s handled themselves as Megyn Fox, one of the stable of blondes at Fox, put the questions to them about the year in which four of their daughters (and a baby sitter) were “touched inappropriately” by their young teen son.

Here’s my disclaimer: I follow these folks via print, I was never a viewer. Gag-reflex, embarrassment quotient, yadda. Couldn’t watch Honey Boo Boo either. Still, with all the news of (Number One Son and until recently, Family Research Council lobbyist and Christian values advocate to the Supreme Court Gay Marriage case) Josh Duggar’s early incidents of fondling, I wanted a peek at just how thick this wall of resistance to 21st century social norms might be.

In Fe’s “Old Ghosts Coming Back” earlier this week, which followed an earlier piece on the Duggar family and the radical principals behind the Quiverful movement, we got a look at retired Speaker of the House Denny Hastert and allegations of a sexual crime that was still shadowed in mystery. Allegedly, he molested a young man who died mid-90s from AIDS. His sister contacted the media shortly afterward, but the allegation could not be proven and never grew legs.

The incident that occurred in the 70s would today be punishable by mandatory prison time of approximately 15 years. Also, the crime itself is seldom a solitary event, as these kinds of predators don’t just quit cold. I suppose we could make a case for screwing the larger public as substitute for more personal contact, but it’s not likely. There’s a whole lot of “there” there, but we’ll probably never get to it.

And there’s a whole lot of “there” there with the Duggar’s, as well. I was mouth-breathing through most of the interview, which turned out to be sloppily sympathetic to Michelle and Jim-Bob, giving them opportunity to present a united defensive front, wounded that this problem has been resurrected to victimize them, outraged that the police illegally (not) allowed the facts to spill out, sprinkled with the inevitable grammatical misuse (all right, that was snotty, but still …).

I wasn’t surprised that Michelle spoke with a wispy little girl voice and offered the least comment, breaking down in tears at one point when discussing their ‘failure as parents.’ I wasn’t surprised that they handled the problem “in house,” and then sought help from a Christian group (strike that, make it a ‘friend’ who had experience with such things) to straighten their son out, nor that they’d reported the problem (over a year later) to an Arkansas State Trooper (who is now serving a 56-year prison sentence for child porn). It happened. Who the hell could make that up?

And I wasn’t shocked that they worked the viewer for sympathy with tales of how their serial-fondler son cried each time he confessed, repentant and contrite, for repeating this ‘mistake’ several times. There was more, so much more, but worst of all, I wasn’t surprised that it took a full twenty minutes of airtime to get to the topic of the victims: the girls, what had been done for them at the time, and now. They were the ‘throw away’ of this piece, the last thing the Duggars were worried about — evidently then, as now.

According to the parents, the girls were oblivious at the time and are only now being victimized by all this unwanted attention (because the Duggars themselves never contracted to take their daily lives to the street and invite us all into their sexually obsessive/repressive lifestyle? Right? What? Huh?).

It didn’t take long for the tweets to fly about this interview. Response was immediate. The person who nailed it, though, was not one I’d have supposed would. Montel Williams, reduced to infomercial-schlepping now that Sylvia Browne is gone, put out the most accurate assessment in a series of comments, I thought, beginning with his empathy for their situation but blasting them for their denial of a serious problem within their household:

“There is something very sinister beneath the surface – these are people who basically said they thought they could be as preachy as they wanted because the records were sealed, these are people who seemingly minimize what happened in their home and essentially sent a message to their daughters to smile, nod and forgive, it’s eerily reminiscent of the ‘keep sweet’ mantra in Warren Jeffs’ FLDS. Nothing about these people is real. Nothing about these people isn’t hypocritical.”

For those of us in the reality community, I don’t think it’s difficult to imagine that a child raised in a pressure cooker of sexual repression coupled with the exaggerated (and over-crowded) result of sexual excess — home-schooled, constantly monitored and taught that immodesty is ungodly — would find a way to express his erupting sexuality by examining the only things at hand, scads of little sisters. But that’s not the ‘there’ there.

We talked last week of excess, and here it is again. Religious extremism in excess. What’s at the crux of this is the notion that lives need micro-management by patriarchal authoritarians who demand compliance in exchange for eternal life. The Dugger problem, besides averaging a pregnancy every fifteen months for the last 21 years? An extreme brand of God-authority they have made their life-commitment, defining their inability to be honest with themselves and contributing to their children’s neurosis. And what’s their reward? The fear level in this pair is palpable.

So much damage is done in the name of religion. Not content to remain simply a highly watched reality show, the Duggars have become politicized over the years, specifically against all manner of gay issues. Michelle Duggar recorded a robocall to voters in Fayetteville, Arkansas, in which she protested a local anti-discrimination ordinance. In it, she linked transgender people to child predators. Her son, the former fondler, represented his family’s deeply anti-LGBT point of view with any number of prominent Republican politicians, who curried the base by having their photo taken with him. On days like today, when those pictures might as well show horns on Josh’s rounded skull, I suspect powerbrokers on the right would rather not be reminded — but let’s go there anyway!

Politicized religion is how we got in this mess to start with. Reagan’s idealized vision of a “shining city on a hill” was taken straight out of the Bible, seized upon by Jerry Falwell and trumpeted from the ambitious new Christian Broadcasting Network as a 24/7 offering on cable television. The erosion of separate church and state had begun. Eric’s reference to Orwell this week is apt on many levels, with this example of mind control another tentacle.

Even as polls show the nation becoming quickly less religious, the political policy that drives her has been breached by the organized activism of fundamental Christianity. In her piece entitled “At Home With The American Taliban,” Fe finished with a paragraph about the Duggar theology that included this sentence: “They will not hesitate to impose their world view and morality onto the rest of us.” I’ll give that a hearty AMEN!

But how do we break through that heavily-walled box of old paradigm rhetoric? We poke it with a sharp stick.

Larry Wilmore, the black comedian whose “Nightly Show” took Stephen Colbert’s time slot following Jon Stewart, is an accomplished, politically astute entertainer. Those of us who questioned his ability to carry a half-hour on Comedy Central have been more than pleasantly surprised. His programming is race-centric — needed since Dave Chappelle wandered away — but not heavy handed; it is topical and candid as well as appropriately irreverent.

We hear a lot about how the black population, deeply and traditionally religious, remains a homophobic demographic, but you wouldn’t know that by either Wilmore’s attitude or those of his (predominantly African-American) guests. His support for the LGBT community and acceptance of transgender issues have not waivered. He did a piece on the unfunny Huckabee joke, resurrected to coincide with Caitlyn Jenner’s outing, that rivals a Jon Stewart bit. As a YouTube, it should be passed around before Huck gets on the Top Ten list. Please do.

Last evening Wilmore did a bit on graduation, taking on news of a family being arrested (WTF!) for shouting out their high school graduate’s name as she went up to the podium. Black, naturally. Then he moved on to the banning of high school valedictorian Evan Young, who had been poised to come out as gay. The young man’s witty speech was frowned upon by educators who were looking for a more traditional message, and although Evan agreed to allow his presentation to be heavily edited by the school administration, his insistence on proclaiming his sexual identity — the whole point, he said — was the deal breaker. Evan’s Colorado Charter School principal informed his parents of the school’s decision by outing Evan to his Mom and Dad.

Evan is not only very bright, he’s cute as a bug and has had a level of support that’s turned the whole topic of ‘gay acceptance’ on its head. Colorado Congressman Jared Polis, himself a gay parent, has called for an investigation into the incident, and an examination of the attitude of these educators. It would be useful if they would heed stories like that of the Duggar family about what happens when we seek to be repressively authoritarian with our children.

Larry Wilmore invited Evan to give his speech on air. Whatever the intent of the Charter School personnel that forbade Evan an audience, the world at large was ready for the message and heard it loud and clear. I hope you’re able to watch it. It’s a message of hope and love that the Duggars can’t — perhaps won’t — hear, through their fears and tears and self-pity.

If you can’t open the link to hear Evan, then [spoiler alert!] here’s the crux of it, from the undestructable spirit of a youngster in Colorado who gets it. As we’ve discussed today, there are a lot of people out there who don’t have a clue, but here’s the Litmus test: the difference between the Duggar message and that of Evan Young is the difference between night and day.

If there’s one thing I learned at this school, it’s that we can still be friends even if we profoundly disagree with each other. And sure: There’s only like 30 of us, so it’s not like we had much of a choice, but at times, it took a serious effort to put up with one another. We disagreed and argued about many things: about gun control, the minimum wage, politics, books, movies, who would speak at our graduation, pretty much everything else.

But no matter how much we disagreed, we learned to overlook our differences and respect everyone else, no matter how wrong we thought they were, no matter how annoying they were, no matter how boring their speeches were, or no matter what weird snacks they brought to history class, from coffee creamer to coconuts. And I want everyone here to do the same.

So before you leave, I have one final request for you: Hug someone. That’s right, hug someone. Students, hug a teacher. Democrats, hug a Republican. People who own a gun, hug one of those darn liberals who wants to snatch it out of your cold, dead fingers. Trekkies, hug someone who likes Star Wars more. Mel Gibson, hug a Jewish person. Conservative Christians, hug an agnostic. Hug a gay person while you’re at it, too. (Actually, please don’t because I don’t want to hug everyone here, but you get the point).

Feel it? Got it? I knew you would. Love comes with an open heart and an explosion of joy and acceptance, not with a burden of guilt, remorse and judgment. Now THAT’s a message worthy of a big ol’ AMEN and one to pass around to everyone who needs to lighten up!

21 thoughts on “All Our Children

  1. Geoff Marsh

    AMEN and Hallelujah!

    Just wish I could watch that cute little bug in my domain because sometimes, just sometimes, I get a feeling that everything is going to be alright after all.

    Many thanks once again, Judith.

  2. Barbara Koehler

    Oh the mores and folkways of a culture, how they can (and do) restrict one’s ability to grow. In a country that allows so much freedom these people you describe, these Duggar folks, and others, have turned in on themselves. Yes, fear. It’s a Saturn thing.

    I’ve been pondering the effects of transiting Saturn in the U.S. (Sibly version) 12th house. The trip he goes through before getting to the U.S. ascendant of 12+ Sagittarius. It’s a cathartic process. Smelly. Whew. Thanks so much Miss Judith for providing me with these examples.

    Erin Sullivan, in her book Saturn in Transit says “the 12th house is the house of the ‘collective unconscious'; it is the house where the psyche is most deeply connected to symbolic images and archetypes.” So, when Saturn reaches the 1st house of the U.S Sibly chart, he will arrive naked, freed from the persona he created during the years following 9/11, when he was crossing over from the 6th house to the 7th house of the U.S chart, the descendant. Our country can begin to build a new self-image thanks to this purging process. Now there’s a lovely thought!

    Saturn will enter the 1st house of the U.S. Sibly chart in January, 2016, depart in June in retrograde, and return in earnest a few weeks before the November election. A sadder but wiser electorate I presume.
    be

  3. Michael MayesMichael Mayes

    The overly authoritative approach to parenting is so played out, and that has rippled into schools, and beyond. Everyone can, if they choose, see behind the veil of ‘authority’ (all forms). The mindset I’m working with now, thanks to the digital age, allows me to break down the patriarchal structure of society, and rebuild. Thanks Jude for another inspiring take on the big picture. Barbara, thanks for your inspiring insights as well.

  4. aWord

    The Duggars world just isn’t the one most of us, thankfully, live in. Of course, it’s those in power we show concern about, not the masses who have not yet risen into ours (have we?) One can wonder (but what a time waster) what will come of the Duggar girls as they “grow up” — or ifthey don’t and replicate their mother’s choice/s. Well and yes, good news comes in young packages and Evan Young deserves a standing ovation for sure. A real sense of calm about him, even in front of a vast television audience. He was emotionally prepared to make his statement, no doubt.
    I’m pondering Saturn a lot these days, Be what with my 2nd return about to ensue. Keeping up with the US Sibley, it’s nice to see him “naked and free”. That’s a good image for today as the yoke of Merc’s backpeddle is still strong.
    Side Note; Noticed that my progressed Saturn is smack dab on the IC with a major planet conjunction every two signs around the wheel except in opposition (Gemini). Well, maybe Mr. Naked and Free will have useful energy for many of us in the US too–even those who abhor such ideas (naked and free?) even behind their locked doors where no Hide and Seek is allowed.

  5. aWord

    haha…see how Merc is affecting me? I’m making up my own astro-language today. Not conjunctions every two signs around the wheel lol but rather Pluto Jupiter Saturn Mars and Merc form a nice dance circle re: series of sextiles.

  6. Barbara Koehler

    You silly girl! Naked and Freed from outworn identity! So progressed Saturn is conjunct progressed IC? Sounds like a return to the roots but lets see what Eris Sullivan says. . . .

    “Saturn is the planet that establishes our rites of passage from one status quo to another and, as that functionary, should be regarded with respect and not with fear and dread. Furthermore, once we recognize that the revolution is originating from within, we are then more capable of conspiring and cooperating with the timing of the events precipitated by the transit.” Then later,

    “The 4th house (IC) is the family lineage, the conditions around the early home environment and one’s innermost private concerns, most of which are deeply embedded in the lunar unconscious. In the horoscope the IC is the point of ultimate darkness and it is there that the struggle for rebirth takes place. The IC is the turning-point [she tells us that the MC is the starting point] in the heroic journey where one burns off one’s mortality, slays the dragon, wrests the treasure from the goblin, rescues the distressed anima and so on. These actions all symbolize the differentiation between the family and oneself, the acquisition of the personal traits lost in the collective.”

    I say get naked and look for those parts of you that were cast aside so as to curry favor with parents and society. To hell with what society thinks!
    be

  7. DeborahDeborah

    Sorry I was so brusque back there, Judith. Your thoughts deserve a better response than what I was able to spit out after being up late enough to catch your early post. Between the Full Moon, Mercury retro, and Venus in Leo, I haven’t slept much these past few days, giving me time to watch the extreme weather world-wide, along with political news, Hasterts, Duggars, Jenners, Evan Young, allowing me to realize that we’ve reached critical mass in society for the long-awaited rise of feminine energy now needed to rebalance the rampant inequalities that have plagued us since being born female. Mother Nature and mothers everywhere have been pushed to the brink, so now things must change big time. Watching Gloria Steinem cross the DMZ with those women was a revelation that sparked memories of the early girl power that we need so much of now. Can you feel the rising? Are we not sick to death of being paid less while being charged more for goods and services, of watching the systematic rape and murder of our children and each other, by men of “authority”… priests, politicians, coaches, cops; of being trafficked around the world for the soul purpose of mens’ pleasure? We’ve had all’s we can stands and we cain’t stands no more! If Momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy, and as I see Denver in knee-high hail I can tell you, Momma ain’t happy. Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”, so strap in, ladies, it’s go time! E-fucking-nuff!

  8. Patricia Proctor

    Paid less may be an understatement. In 1968, the minimum wage was $1.60. Today, 6 silver quarters melted down is worth around $15.00, give or take.

    Thank you for the great article Jude!

  9. aWord

    OMG yes. I was in Greenwich Village late 70s and that 50cent slice (of real food) was a staple. As I recall my little studio apt was around $300/mo–prices were just beginning to skyrocket. That same apt is part of a mulit-million dollar condo now. But at least in the day I could FIND housing. Rt now I’m in a “nowhere” town and so many people (like me) are looking to lower their cost of living by moving to places like this that there’s almost no availability. Something’s going to give.

  10. aWord

    Thanks, Be! Lol..transformation written by a grand fire trine between that Saturn and Pluto and Mercury? Perhaps I’d best speak up about that dragon slaying as well. Well, I knew this was the journey, just amazing how astrology points it out so clearly.
    (And I LUV that you named Erin “Eris”. Something to that.)
    This could be a Sedna story; giving cast-off parts new life–seems she’s hanging out near Marc in that Fire Trine…how about that for a bit of astro-magic?

  11. DeborahDeborah

    Caitlyn is so rich that the automatic pay cut shouldn’t affect her… I was most disappointed in hearing that she is a Republican and wonder what stand she’ll take on their war against women.

  12. karliecole

    Do not be fooled. Think spin. This is Bush-esque “dumb” marketing at its finest. And every outrageousness pushes the dialogue further and further right. It doesn’t matter to the ones pulling the strings if these “people” look like buffoons. They are marketing an agenda and that marketing is working – no matter who is in elected office.

  13. Barbara Koehler

    Dear Jude, with all the Saturn energy/influence you have of course it would be a struggle at this time. First of all you aren’t alone in that sense of sagging energy, and 2nd, there are a multitude of astro influences contributing to that. Perhaps even some solar flares adding to the exhausted effect. I believe many of us are in a period of sloughing off whatever weighs us down so as to be ready for coming events.

    Transiting Saturn is in a semi-square with Pluto and after such a long period of being in mutual reception, and sometimes sextile each other, this present aspect is most debilitating – at least for Saturn! Being in retrograde (Saturn and even Pluto, along with Mercury) means less energy to put “out there”.

    While in Sagittarius (a weight on even the sign Sagittarius itself, and all Sadge Suns), Saturn has the constant pressure from Jupiter to EXPAND. Whaaat? Forget about it; it’s all I can do to crawl back to Scorpio right now says Saturn. Then there is Neptune preparing to station retrograde Friday morning. It may be a w-I-d-e square he makes to Saturn, but Neptune knows no bounds as the saying goes….

    Feel free to cast off some of the lower level weight (annoying neighbors, etc.) and hold off on major chores if you can until Saturn retrograde returns to Scorpio (and his mutual reception with Pluto) next Sunday. Even Mars’ conjunction to the Sun in Gemini that day should at least stimulate conversation that boosts fatigue-fighting energy. (I’m gathering all my notes on Edward Snowden as this New Moon + Mars [a week from tomorrow] will conjunct his Mars+ North Node. His Moon is in Scorpio you know, squaring his Leo Venus which will be quincunx trans. Pluto in Capricorn who will be in mutual reception with trans. Saturn.)
    be

  14. aWord

    …and for anyone else concerned: the cat is OK at this time. She’s a smart one; perhaps directing the show here as far as I know–seeing to both our needs.
    Wow and that’s yet some more useful Saturn info, Be. Thx.
    I just now HAD to hear Michelle Duggar’s voice per your description, Jude. Ohmy!!! Oh my. What a dig into HER family past would dredge up.

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