By Sarah Taylor

What if we were to make peace with our fathers?

It’s not a suggestion, but a question — one that this reading makes clear is up for consideration. I don’t believe an answer is required or even necessary; I don’t think this is about forcing hurtful or impossible terms. But asking the question? I think that’s the essence of the three cards in front of you today.

Four of Cups, King of Wands, Prince of Wands from the Haindl Tarot deck, created by Hermann Haindl. Click on the image for a larger version.

Last week, the Ace of Cups sat at the centre of the reading, a symbol of the flow of Love that you either choose to resist or align with.

It’s not an active process, unless you see ‘letting go’ as something you do actively; I’m not sure that letting go is a primary action as much as it’s something that happens when it’s clear it is the only option that makes sense anymore. It is the result of a chain of actions and reactions that bring you to the point where letting go feels, if not logical, then inevitable.

The cards today continue this theme — and, really, an ongoing theme of change and stepping into a position of authority in your own life — in a specific form.

The version that I have of the Four of Cups has as its title “Mixed Happiness.” This has since been updated to “Yearning,” which has the effect of positioning the card as reaching into the future towards something that is yet to manifest, rather than leaving it held in the present. Hermann Haindl himself said that this card spoke of needing to do something with the Cups in order to effect the kind of change that transforms current circumstances — ones that may feel like loss or disillusionment, or pain and grief. This is similar to the Ace, where one must reach for it in order to own the gift of Love that it offers you.

I notice that the blue background in the Four of Cups mirrors the background in the third card, that of the Prince of Wands (the Knight in the Rider-Waite Smith deck). I also notice that the card in the centre, the King of Wands, acts as an interface of sorts between the Four and the Prince.

I am going to call the King the surface of the mirror. The Four of Cups — “Mixed Happiness” or “Yearning” — is what you, the Prince of Wands, is looking at when you look into this mirror.

Except this mirror is not neutral. No mirror in this world is, no matter how much we believe it to be. Mirrors reflect back to us an interpretation of what we’re looking at based on who we are and the experiences we bring to it. The surface of the mirror is a filter that is uniquely tinged by our beliefs — especially the hidden ones.

Here, you, dear Prince, are looking at a situation in your life through the eyes of your father, the King of Wands. You may not know it, but it is he who stands behind your shoulder, in some way influencing not only what you are looking at, but also the one who is doing the looking: you.

Why are you feeling the way you are about the yearning that runs through you? This force at play within: is it you? Or is it a filter that you have carried around — possibly unknowingly, probably for much of your life — that influences how you see, react and respond to your circumstances?

This, to me, is the striving for identity in circumstances that are defined by loss — and the moment, a gift, that is given to you in the stillness where you get to choose how and who you are when you finally respond. It is also about peace-making: with the inner fiery masculine, with the seat of creativity, with father, with an authority figure, with authority itself.

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To create your life as a reaction against what you perceive as the shortcomings and failings of masculinity and how it was modelled to you is to have your life defined by it. You become the very thing that you repel. You search, search, search in the mirror for your answer, not thinking to turn around and see what it is that is really being reflected back to you.

And so, I come back to a variation of the question that started this reading: What if you were to make peace with your father?

What if you were able to see his influence, and the ways he unnervingly shows up in your thoughts, your words, your actions? What if you were to look as fully as possible, not because you needed to forgive him, but so you could set yourself free? What if he were to become human, rather than super- or inhuman? What if you were to see him as limited, rather than an infinite god?

What if you were to resurrect yourself as the person who is really standing in front of the mirror, and dance to your own tune — perhaps one that includes joy and sensuality, pleasure and beauty, and a more fluid and creative notion of masculinity? What if all of this resided in you alongside the ability to hold to yourself as a mature expression of centred creativity?

Maybe then your father wouldn’t command so much of your attention that you have little room for anything else. And maybe a whole lot more would change besides.

Astrology/Elemental correspondences: Four of Cups (Moon in Cancer), Father of Wands in the East (the fiery aspect of fire), Son of Wands in the East (the airy aspect of fire)

If you want to experiment with tarot cards and don’t have any, we provide a free tarot spread generator using the Celtic Wings spread, which is based on the traditional Celtic Cross spread. This article explains how to use the spread.