Venus has stationed direct in Leo after a six-week retrograde. It’s done so in the midst of a conjunction to Mars, a story that’s been brewing since much earlier in the year, and will continue into November — the Venus-Mars triple conjunction, first in Aries, then in Leo, and finally in Virgo.
Leo is the sign of what you might call ‘affairs of the heart’. So as for how the station-direct manifests, you might be looking at various change-of-heart scenarios, including cultivating acceptance of a situation, or some variant on that (such as refusing to accept something).
In my observation humans strive for finality in their relationships, but tend to be restless and often dissatisfied beings all along the way. We are a society that swears its avowed fidelity to the concept of monogamy, with 37 million records in the Ashley Madison database.
The Venus-Mars conjunction is still in motion. Remember there are three of them, with one more yet to happen, the last being in early November.
Whatever story has moved with you through the year has a point of equilibrium at the third conjunction, in Virgo, the sign of healing and service. This may not involve just one person; it may be a much more complex gestalt. However, sex and the desire for sexual healing are involved. The idea of sex as a form of service is involved.
Trust and the healing of trust are factors. We are talking about the fundamentals of relating, including the ongoing and ever present fact of change: that thing denied nearly all the time.
Permanence as we tend to think about it is always a hedge against the underlying reality of change; all relationships are transient, at least as arranged on this plane of reality. The seemingly endless political struggle in relationships, so far as I can tell, is really a covert struggle between the reality of transience and the seeming desire for permanence.
What we think of as being about a relationship is really about a relationship between self and existence; between self and self-awareness. This is what we extend into any encounter with the other. Most of what we call relationship is projection, that is, the ‘unconscious’ assignment of one’s own inner dynamics onto outer dynamics, including other people and our situations with them.
Projection, in turn, is usually designed to mask over lack of self-esteem. Typically when someone is feeling unworthy, they project that outward, onto “unworthy of someone else’s love.” Whatever that person thinks or does, or that you might think they think or do, ends up in the projected scenario. This is why no other person can make you feel secure. You either cultivate that or you don’t; most people do not.
It also seems true that people seek completion of themselves in others. Those who try that are likely to be really, really nervous because, after all, that other person could take away their sense of self. Investment of self-esteem into relationships is, so far as I can tell, THE problem we really face.
It’s no wonder that relationships are so confusing. And it’s no wonder they rival Washington, D.C., politics when all people claim to want is to have some fun, some companionship, some mutuality. I think that if we addressed self-esteem and projection openly, we would get a long way in a short time.
Leo is one of the most important signs representing self-esteem, as the second sign in the Thema Mundi — the chart of the world. One message of Venus and Mars there is that we, each of us, need to make contact with both sexual polarities and take full ownership of each. This ownership is the essence of both self-possession and of calling in projections. Once we do that, we can give one another peace, love and understanding.
“This is why no other person can make you feel secure. You either cultivate that or you don’t;.” Yes. All these themes you write about so beautifully are coming up for me so strongly right now. Thank you so much for this wonderful, wise piece, dear Eric.
DITTO! The complex gestalt so accurate in my experience as well – really curious what planetary pictures lead you to phrase it that way Thank you <3
(Ah, you were speaking about the third, in Virgo, I see.. Jupiter / Pluto & that Aries inconjunct… great piece!)
This is right on the money – it’s something I “know” but continually need to remember (re-member) and reintegrate. Thank you for this reminder x
Wisely expressed from the heart and soul, Eric. “Trust and healing of trust are factors.” It is clear that the fundamentals of relating that you describe begin within ourselves. Consequently, the trust must also begin within ourselves. You so beautifully describe self and self-awareness but because we find ourselves projecting ourselves upon others, it is difficult for us to move away from our “inner dynamics.” It is that area that I hope you can add more to this topic. What do you and others see there? For me I find a premium on awareness for its the only way to address anything however, I also find a premium on releasing judgment. Can we move past judging ourselves and others so that we can be open to Trust? Can we be open to new ideas about situations, people and ourselves? Can we re-write (re-interpret) the stories? I find solace in reading your post with Sarah’s Tarot on having paid for the Karmic past. Does Venus turning direct and the other astrological happening offer opportunities for the aware mind?
To some extent we’re all slaves to the fairytales. All those ones where they live Happily Ever After. Finding heroes and (especially) heroines who have (gasp!) a Life After Marriage is troublingly difficult. Obviously, Cinderella’s father becomes a widower and remarries, but then you have the Wicked Stepmother. Marriage is portrayed time and again as the pinnacle of existence – the happiest day of one’s life – followed by…what? Apparently, not much. Classical literature contains many of the same issues.
Of course, the 18th and 19th centuries were a very different time. Life was precarious and life expectancy was roughly 50, if you were lucky. And we’ve moved on since then – but not far enough. We still attach too much stigma to states other than heterosexual marriage, so that being “successful” in this area is a status symbol and a safety net, as well as a matter of power between the couple.
We need new stories. Ones that show the important thing for all of us is to live life well, be charitable, merciful and compassionate, and recollect that love is not a zero-sum game.
Not sure what I’m looking at, photo-wise, but I’m intrigued. Venus/Mars conjunctions might be behind the impetus to include some dudes here. But it’s hard to tell what’s up … thots, anyone?