By Amanda Moreno

I once again find myself in upstate New York assisting at two five-day Deep Memory Process modules — and I once again find myself a ball of exhausted gratitude that there are people in the world courageous enough to plunge into the depths of the soul and face what is found there. A sense of quiet humility fills me as I lean into the fact that as part of my path in life, I get to hold space for and witness these profound journeys.

Photo by graywacke/A Landing a Day

The Deep Memory Process work is focused on healing core traumas — an action I believe to be an integral step in moving our ‘civilization’ into a sustainable, life-affirming paradigm.

It is multidimensional in that it is addressing the physical, emotional and mental energy bodies and the wounds accumulated there over vast lengths of time. Relying on the theories and understandings of reincarnation explored in so many great religions, it is the only modality I know of that is a form of past-life soul retrieval — it helps to heal soul fragmentation and loss over time.

Deep Memory Process focuses on our basic complexes as can be seen in our everyday speech and affects. Just fill in the blank: “I always…” or “I never…” There you have a complex and a past-life script that, according to this work, is still with you today. I always have to do it alone. I never have enough. I always seem to get stuck. More information on the process can be found in an article I published here last fall.

Heading into this Mercury retrograde period we have five planets moving backwards in the sky — at least from our point of view. One thing that my dear Deep Memory Process teacher is known to say is that sometimes we have to move back to go forward — have to regress to progress. Right now it seems as if the combination of retrograde Mars and Mercury in particular are emphasizing this concept and inviting us to use the energy constructively by plunging into our unfinished business. This is especially true in light of the fact that Mars is reviewing the areas of our lives most prominently affected by Saturn’s retrograde last summer.

Tonight I sat in the living room of the old colonial-style house where I’ve been staying with 20 other folks for the past week. Our conversation ran the gamut of fascinating topics, and ended up in a discussion of different energetic and bodywork healing styles. Someone discussed the nuances of craniosacral work, a modality that led them to understand there are some things that can be cleared out of the subtle bodies quite rapidly, and without any awareness on the part of the client in the session. This was mentioned as a counterpoint to other forms of work during which the client is able to track the healing, be it through feeling or vision or the recollection of memories from the present life or the past.

There are, however, some memories or complexes or wounds that cannot be healed for you by another person, or without your conscious awareness. There are some wounds that need to be worked through and released in a more cathartic and conscious manner.

For example: I have had chronic issues with one part of my body in the form of seemingly sporadic tension and pain that is sometimes triggered by stress. I went to my energy healer dude during an acute episode to see if he could help out with whatever was going on. He responded by spending some time working with the spot and then telling me that there was nothing he could do for it — it was something I had to fix myself.

During another episode, I took the issue to a massage therapist who is also an energy healer. I didn’t mention what the other healer had said, but got the same response from her — there was nothing she could do. I needed to heal it myself.

Some time later, I was in a regression session in which I remembered or ‘relived’ the experience of a hot poker being jabbed into that very spot. In another session, I ‘experienced’ having been stabbed there. In another session, I located a cord to another person that had been attached there. Although occasionally my conscious mind wonders about the weird realms I visit for healing, the proof is always in the proverbial pudding — and the healing is profound.

Through psychodrama, I removed the poker and other projectiles lodged in the spot, and was able to understand the wound with greater depth. I also received insight into steps I could take moving forward to care for the physical part of the body, as well as the emotional wounds that seemed to get stuck there. I addressed the reasons for the cords, and in healing spaces sent love through them to help them dissolve. I also dialogued with the figures I’d been connected to for so long. Sometimes the spot still gets a little grouchy, but I’m always able to resolve it on my own by tuning in and connecting the dots and listening to what is going on there.

Next week marks the 30th anniversary of my dad’s death. The event is in its Saturn return. My dad died in a car accident when I was six while Saturn toured my 4th house of family and home.

As Saturn has once again swept through this territory, forcing me to do a lot of emotional restructuring and self-parenting, I’ve been quite immersed in healing wounds related to that early life imprint of sudden, shocking loss. I have been using regression therapy to help understand the ways that incident in this life served as a kind of trigger through which many similar lifetime wounds converged. My own astrological beliefs include the theory that in the 30 or so years leading up to the first Saturn return, much of our karma is being re-imprinted.

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Now that Mars is retrograding through that same territory, it’s clear that the core desires I will be revisiting have to do with family, home and emotional wellbeing. My dad’s death was also surrounded by scandal that was slowly revealed over time, involving a corrupt and high-ranking judge — a figure who might be associated with Saturn and Sagittarius — and a cover-up.

As the anniversary approaches, my mom is considering somehow going public with the ‘truth’ of the story — at least the truth as we have pieced together over the past three decades, and through reports she received when she hired a private investigator a few years after the fact. Here we can see the potential arising symbolism as Mars leaves Sagittarius and enters Scorpio.

As I wait and see what my mom decides, I am awed at the ways the symbolism of the stars is playing out so literally in my life, and grateful to have the support of incredible healers, a strong inner core and the wisdom of the stars. As I head into another five days of helping people to revisit and remember the past in order to move forward, I’m going to try to remember the importance of doing the work myself as well, and of using this energy constructively rather than going with my first instinct — which was to run and hide. We live in a time of such great possibility for change. Why squander the opportunities?