Dear Madame Z,

I find myself in quite the pickle and was wondering if you could maybe give me a little advice. I’m a single woman (Libra) and while some might say my choice should be easy, I can’t say it is. I have two wonderful men in my life. Both of them treat me like I’m a princess. While this sounds great, here is where the problem lies.

The love of my life (Gemini) is a happily married man but he and I are best buddies. We have such a good time when we’re together. He gives me everything I could ever want in a relationship. We can talk about anything and just spend hours enjoying each other’s company. However, slowly but surely we have crossed the line from mere friends into Lovers.

This is only part of the problem, as there is this other guy (Scorpio) who loves me dearly. He gives me everything I could ever want, except time with him. While I love him and our life, he doesn’t fill my soul the way my friend does.

Here is my dilemma: Mr. Scorpio has proposed and I have no idea what I should do. Do I marry him and continue my affair or do I wait to see if Mr. Gemini gets a divorce?

What’s a Princess to Do?

Princess,

If you can keep two men around in this economy, you must be doing something right. However, it may appear you’ve now got a case of the Peter Principle on your dating hands. If you’re not familiar with this concept, the Peter Principle is where a person’s skill and talent encourages repeat promotions until they finally land in a job (or role) they are neither qualified nor capable of performing.

It is at this point really interesting things happen.

And it sounds as if really interesting things might be about to happen here, too. So I have a couple of questions for you.

First, a statement: No, Mr. Gemini is not going to get a divorce, so don’t wait up for him to darken on your doorstep with the legal papers. Not gonna happen. I hang out with an experienced gang of diviners, and if they had a nickel for every time a client asked us if “Johnny” was going to leave his wife, we could afford to hire a cruise ship and send all the Johnnys and Sallys on relational rehabilitation trips far, far from our sights. Strike that. We’d hire our own cruise ship with their nickel questions, and sail ourselves into a pink sunset of relief.

Bottom line, divorces rarely happen in these situations. And if you think you’re gonna be an exception, you don’t understand much about Gemini needs.

Gemini types need variety. Live for variety. And given what you’ve shared, what’s more delightful for voracious variety than at least two women to pick from? One would be so boring! Unless you’ve got multiple personalities. (Do you?)

Furthermore, the ongoing astro-climate of the coming year for Geminis features a perfect storm of juggling, role reassignments, and revelations. Plenty’s changing and nothing’s settled. That might create hope here, but consider this: the eye of this storm has Gemini right in its sights — with you possibly standing with him. Maybe that appeals. Are you fond of French farce?

As for Mr. Scorpio, I suspect he’s serious; and if he’s serious, you should be, too. You say you love your life together with him and everything he gives you, and in the same beat confess he gives you everything but time together. What, exactly does he give you? Is more time with him what you really desire? Seems you’re already booking the Gemini in your spare moments. Handy not to have Mr. Scorpio around. Hm.

Sounds like Ms. Princess could have used a few more Planet Waves horoscopes taped into her journal, don’t you think? Help your friends avoid getting into a real pickle: tell them about Planet Waves’ new reader-level membership, for access to all our articles without a click limit. Core Community membership gets you email delivery, plus more.

But as I said before, if Mr. Scorpio’s serious, you should take his offer at face value, and make it clear what you want and expect.

Scorpios have just done hard time with Sir Saturn for two years (you might remember him — 2009-2012ish?), and perhaps this offer of marriage may be an impulsive gambit to invite some Venusian softness into his life. Whatever Mr. Scorp’s motivation, your side order of Gemini wasn’t on his menu.

Princess dear, upon reflection it seems to me you’ve fallen into a classic Libran-styled logical pitfall of false equivalences. This is not an either/or question, or even an either/and question. The dilemma isn’t about your charming men; the dilemma is about you.

Is monogamy, marriage, or even serious commitment your desire? You seem particularly committed to the role of pampered princess with few obligations and even fewer assurances of stability. I see no problem with petted and pampered princesses, as long as everyone knows their parts in this drama.

Ambition should match intention and ability: don’t reach for the crown of the Queen and expect to remain a princess. Don’t take on a role you are neither qualified nor capable of performing. Interesting things might happen, you see.

Your most kind and honest servant,

Madame Z