Autumn Equinox, New Moon and Fiery Last Days of Summer

Dear Friend and Reader:

These last days of Northern Hemisphere summer arrive with a potent aspect — Mars square Neptune. This is the one that says “make sure you can tell fantasy from reality.” I covered this in the most recent edition of my subscriber newsletter, which you can see here.

After going to press last night, I realized I didn’t cover the sexual dimension of this aspect, which is pretty darned interesting. Nowhere in life is the concept of fantasy, and its connection to what one might actually do, so vital as the realm of sexuality.  Most sex happens in fantasy. Most of that fantasy does not quite match up with what happens in physical time and space — though many people want it to.

Mars square Neptune allows or enables you to bend or blur the line between fantasy and reality. This must be done carefully, because it’s a special kind of power, though now is a time when the line is especially soft. You can use that, starting in the realm of the imagination (keeping it hot and risqué) and then guiding your experiences into manifestation.

That aspect is exact Sunday. Monday the Sun ingresses Libra, the sign of relationships, balance and beauty. That is a shift of energy on many fronts, including a change of seasons, of signs and also of the Sun’s hemisphere — a major turning point in the year.

That’s followed by the Libra New Moon about 36 hours later, which will give the equinox/Libra energy a push. I know that Scorpio is supposedly the sign of sex, though an author named Alice Bailey, who wrote only one book on astrology — very compelling, at that — tells astrology students that if you want to understand sex, understand Libra.

I’ll be covering this on my new webcast scheduled to run Tuesday at Planet Waves FM. You can also listen to the current edition (and archives) there as well, no charge, no credit card — open to everyone.

Here is your Sex By Sign horoscope for this week.

w/love, your astrologer,
Eric Francis

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Does sex exist first to make babies, or does it exist to celebrate life and pleasure, and also make babies? Well it all depends on who you ask. If you ask some religious authority, they will likely tell you it’s about kids and only kids. There is another story, which is that sex is an experience of our core humanity — and new kids occasionally come along for the ride, so to speak.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
Obsession over sexual health and STIs is not necessarily helpful. It’s important to have some consciousness about this, though test results are not the end-all of the issue. Test results can be meaningful, but more important is assessing someone’s self-care, whether they maintain their immune system, whether they are honest and most of all getting a feeling for what kinds of risks they are inclined to take — in the future, when it matters most.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
Stoke your curiosity and feel what direction it’s pulling you in. That’s the direction to go, the one that feels a little unfamiliar but somehow necessary and drawing you into the vortex. You don’t need to be self-protective or defensive; you don’t need any strategy other than paying attention and having fun. Oh, and you don’t need to be the prettiest or most beautiful — you are more than beautiful enough as you are, and competition will ruin the fun.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Sex is not all about security and pregnancy is not a path to security. It may be the furthest thing from your mind right now, though to be fair we would need to assess any seemingly unconscious motives you might have. You stand on solid ground with yourself. Indeed your ‘ground of being’ is so solid that you would be wise to go deeper into it and investigate what is there — and find out how secure you really are.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
Don’t get lost in words. Skip the PowerPoint proposal with classical music and take bold action on your desires. They are likely to include sex and some favorite creative mode you have, both of which you may feel inclined to overindulge in. That’s the spirit of the moment — a little excess, however, with a caveat about avoiding known self-destructive options. You need to feed some deep desires, and you now have the opening to do that well.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
It cannot be said often enough that all love starts with selflove. All relationships start with your relationship to yourself. All sex originates with masturbation, which is your inner erotic feedback loop. You can now bring all of these ideas together into one experience. Far from making you narcissistic or self-centered, getting into that space and exploring there will likely take you into a mode where all you want is to share the feeling with others.

LIBRA (Sept. 22-Oct. 23)
You can get what you want. And you can get it without sucking up to anyone, or reverting to any form of ‘daddy pleasing’. Be direct and be bold — along with being clear and polite. People will respect you more if you stand your full height, though be aware that the view of humanity is different from that level. Keep a keen eye out for the self-destructive tendencies of others, and your own. They are a trap.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
Ask yourself what aspects of your sexuality are creative, and which are self-destructive. Many people have tendencies that they know hurt them but which seem to feel good — such as sex with someone who they know in their heart is not the right person to be connecting with. Yet those energy bonds can run deep. Look honestly at how you feel after any encounter, and that will help you make up your mind about what is good for you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Your desire is a magnet, and you don’t need to do much, or assert yourself, if you want to draw people to you. Be your friendly self and watch who notices you. Listen for who is capable of spontaneous honesty. Be aware that your need for sex is being driven by an unusually emotional state right now. You are not looking for anything ordinary. You are looking for something truly unusual — and real.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
Your fantasies might be churning right now, filled with all kinds of cryptic adventures, inappropriate people, unusual places and odd encounters. It’s a good thing that this is all going on in your imagination, though I am an advocate of bringing even the wildest fantasies into physical form. I would remind you that this week you have a spotlight shining on you; you won’t be able to keep a secret.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
If you’re not ordinarily the type to be extroverted about your sexual desires, intentions and theories, now is the time to experiment. You will learn all kinds of things, you will see many reactions, and you’ll experience some praise and some judgment. Think of all you would not have learned, had you not opened up and let everyone know what is on your mind. As for who you meet — that will be even more interesting.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
The Sun and Moon enter your house of The Sex You Want, which for you is so essential to relationships as to be the same concept. In fact it would be wise to have no relationships in your life that are not at least supportive of your sexual freedom and also acknowledging its depth of importance in your life. Yet the person or people with whom this matters the most are the ones you honor by calling lover.

Dear Friend and Reader:

Every time I read about the “reuniting of sexuality and spirituality,” I cringe a little. Both of these words seem like false concepts. Part of what seems so weird about them is that they start off being mutually exclusive, as if you cannot be spiritual if you like sex, or you cannot be sexual if you’re one of those spiritual people.

Or closer to the point, you cannot admit to one and claim to be the other, without raising a few eyebrows. I was reading the Planet Waves blog the other day when I saw this quote, in an article by Michael Picucci (of Psychology Tomorrow), selected by our editors:

“Sexual healing is the shame-free revisiting of complex sexual histories, limitations and perceptions combined with new awareness, understanding, and compassion. In the process of this rejuvenation, we learn how to merge our spiritual and sexual energies. The ‘sexual-spiritual split’ is a culturally induced, deep psychic schism that haunts relationships and precludes emotional fulfillment. Resolving this powerful inner conflict is necessary for true body, mind and spirit connections.”

Mars, the planet of desire, is about to enter Sagittarius, one of the signs that traditional astrology associates with all matters of a spiritual or religious nature. Mars will be newly bathed in a long trip through Scorpio, and so extra horny. When it plunges into Sagittarius, and enters a new dialog with Neptune in Pisces (more spirituality), there will be some interesting results.

I suggest you pay attention to this whole sexual-spiritual issue during the next few weeks, and not take anything for granted. Accept none of the many judgments that religion has placed on sex, always to religion’s own benefit and the loss of human happiness.

Your own doubt is no proof that religion is ‘right’. Your misgivings or guilt are proof of nothing except that something was done to you — that is, an agenda was pushed on you. Now is your moment to stop and question that, and figure out what is true for you, regardless of what anyone says is true for them.

w/love, your astrologer,
Eric Francis

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Instead of purity or perfection, reach for clarity and passion, and you will get them. Still, you may feel like you’re pushing a limit or like you may run out of control. I suggest you explore that edge, which will also take your imagination to a place that seems more dangerous than usual. The seeming danger, of course, is that you will want to burst free and do what you would not normally do.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
You are walking the fine line between what is called Right Tantra and Left Tantra –– absolute discipline and the need to break any and all rules. Though this may seem like a contradiction, it’s also an image of balance, and the paradox that you will reconcile on the way to wholeness. When you experiment with one, remember that the other exists. Neither is the correct way — both are necessary, perhaps urgently so.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
Most people spend their lives avoiding others. We could come up with a million reasons why that is, which is exactly, precisely, the problem. How will you respond if someone comes onto you directly? Will you make excuses to avoid the encounter, or give yourself reasons to let things unfold naturally? Yes, there is a risk involved; there’s a risk involved in everything. Sometimes it’s worth taking a chance on an encounter that could fulfill at least one very wild dream.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Desire is healthy. It’s necessary and it’s a sign of vitality. Therefore, allow yourself to desire, and to indulge in a little bit of too much. If doing this leaves you feeling a little weird, rather than judging yourself, or your desires, ask yourself why this could be so. You don’t need to accept any notion of the idea that “sex is sinful,” which seems to underlie most misgivings about sexual desire. Really question that in a deep way, while you’re busy having fun.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
Let your curiosity drive your sexuality. Most people depend on their hormones, which are connected to the instinctual level, and are not especially creative. Curiosity is creative, and it leaves room for information coming from your cells and your senses. Curiosity is connected to art, and it’s an art form of its own. I believe that sexual curiosity is the highest form of the art. Most people keep it in a box. Set yours free.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Nobody is perfect, by which I mean no-one and not any body. If you confuse attaining perfection with sex appeal, you have set yourself up to lose what in truth for you can be an easy game. Remember that anyone with a modicum of sophistication will see the whole you, and find your quirks and contradictions appealing and attractive. Face it: when you’re beautiful, there’s nothing you can do about that. So why bother?

LIBRA (Sept. 22-Oct. 23)
You do not need a strategy for deeper love or more sex; you merely need to be your beautiful, charismatic self. The only plan you need is to put yourself where you can be seen, and to say what you really mean. It’s true that authenticity scares off some people, indeed, many people, and they are just the ones you want at a distance. It’s also magnetic to those who are bold and gutsy — that is to say, your type.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
To say “be passionate” means “be passionate about yourself and your existence.” That in turn opens the door to passion about others and their existence, which you naturally want to express. But you want to back that up with self-awareness and self-love, so that you have some substance and deep current beneath those waves you are surfing. Remember, the opposite of all of this is jealousy.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Desire. You’re about to feel it, in all its liberating passion and complexity. Your desire is about to take you on a journey. Just take the ride, feeling and seeing the many sights and sounds as you go. Honest desire will teach you, it will change you and will put you in a position to grow, and to figure out who you are. If desire is taboo, these are the reasons why — and they are fantastic reasons.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
What if your sexuality were on full display for everyone to see? Yes, fully dressed, with all of your Capricornesque care of presentation, yet totally transparent. Imagine if you could not, as you so often do, succeed at having any façade that presented the appearance of denying your desire, your attractiveness and your unusual erotic strength? What if people could see you for who you truly are, in all your sexual glory? I assure you — they can.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
Desire, love, sex, passion, the freedom to choose who we love: all of these things need advocates. You might not think that something as supposedly popular as sex needs anyone standing up for it, though I assure you that it does. Sex and pleasure need bold people setting an example and stating out loud that it’s not only OK to feel and to want, it’s necessary and it’s also beautiful. So speak up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Power is sexy. Just about everyone knows that, though few people are willing to admit that they, personally, are turned on by power. You are now visible as a person of accomplishment, which will focus attention in your direction. But don’t be surprised if anyone demurs or avoids your glance despite their probable interest in you. Meet them on the human level, where they are comfortable going, and your star quality will shine all the brighter.

Fantasy and Reality are Closer Than you Think

Dear Friend and Reader:

There’s an idea that fantasy and reality are two different things. One seems to exist only in the mind, and the other exists in physical ‘reality’. Yet everything that happens in your life happens in your mind, wherever else it may manifest, which is the first similarity to keep in mind.

Then, anything that manifests in time, in physical form, has a point of origin in the mind. Everything you see in the world around you started as a sketch on paper (or more lately, a computer) and was then constructed or produced. In a similar way, everything you experience is first designed mentally and emotionally. This is a good reason to get a handle on your creativity.

On Monday there will be a Full Moon in Pisces. The Full Moon happens when the Moon and the Sun form an opposition to one another, making a connection from the world of dreams and imagination (Pisces) to the physical world. For the next few days, that connection is especially strong. Pisces, the official slittiest sign, is all about helping you get your sexual fantasies into manifestation.

If you want to do that, the first key is to acknowledge them to yourself, in some clear and tangible form, like writing. The second step is to express them to others who might want to participate. Remember that not everyone necessarily be interested in your concept of fun, so choose who you share with carefully, and keep a thick skin in case anyone suggests that your idea is too weird. I assure you that it’s not. Even in the realm of ‘normal’ sex, you have plenty of wiggle room before you really get into weird.

One other thing I’ll mention. If you have a scenario you want to explore, such as three-way sex (perhaps the most popular erotic fantasy to experiment with) give it a few times before you decide how you feel about it. It’s necessary to do your best choosing your partners, and it’s vital to make sure that everyone is entering the situation with their heart open (that is a bit of wisdom from Tantra).

Remember, though, that fantasy and reality have different properties, and that the translation process can take a little while. Every if you don’t like something the first time, or if it feels awkward, give it another chance or two. Remember that you are leading the way into new territory, both for yourself and for others.

That new territory is wide open right now, and there is lots of room to explore — so let your imagination run wild, and consider who might be willing to play.

Lovingly, your astrologer,
Eric Francis

PS, on Monday, Sept. 8 at 8 pm EDT, I am hosting a live conference call devoted to the Pisces Full Moon. It’s free and everyone is invited. Check it out here….

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Your fantasies are running hot and wild, but will you have the courage to open up about them? If a relationship partner is uninterested, don’t let that discourage you. At least find someone you can share your thoughts with, and have fun doing it. Consider the fact that others may be less timid and well behaved than they are letting on. Be bold about enticing them with your idea of an adventure.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
Be bold, as bold as you can get yourself to be, by which I mean free and a bit wild in social situations. Yes, you have reasons to behave yourself, but you have even better motives to fill up on your life- force energy and break free from the social conventions that you sometimes think run your life. They are a veil (which might show up as hesitancy or embarrassment), and on the other side of that veil is a lot of fun.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
People are attracted to flair and originality, and you have both of these things running strong for you right now. Therefore, take leadership. Feel confident in yourself, in who you want and in what you want, and make your desires known. You are always charming, though there are rare times when you are irresistible, and this is one of them. Make the most of it — strive for the impossible and you’re more likely to reach it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Religion has placed all of the most damaging rules on limits on sexual pleasure. If people have love, pleasure and human contact, they have no need to sit inside an old building and listen to someone lecture them about morality. The great thing is that none of this has any power unless you allow it to. Embrace your freedom and that of others in the same gesture. If you need religion, life and love will do just fine.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
Imagine that for just one weekend, everything that used to be taboo is suddenly liberated from the potential for judgment. Were that true, what you would you say, and what would you do? You have an open opportunity to ask for anything you want, and to offer anything you want, though you may not believe that’s true until you try. The nuances involved are likely to contain plenty of emotion, mingled with physical desire.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
You may find someone close to you is open to some of the most unusual sexual experiences they’ve ever (or never) had, though I would ask — how open are you? My perception of the charts is that this is the perfect astrology for opening up together. So I suggest you take the initiative and get the dialog going. Photography shows up in the charts, either as a means of illustrating what you want, or by expressing yourself in pictures.

LIBRA (Sept. 22-Oct. 23)
Many people associate sex with pain, struggle and violence. Many are more drawn to longing than they are to fulfillment. It’s time for our culture to open up to an idea that sex offers the potential for healing, and this begins with you. You can consciously set an intention to associate sex with pleasure and with healing, and count that as the first step to your own personal healing. Use your intuition, and stay with yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
Sex can be about pleasure, or it can be about power. The more of one you have, the less of the other you will have. To let go of the power aspect, which is certainly not a source of happiness, it’s necessary to go right for the pleasure — to give, to receive and most of all, to allow. A vast space is opening up where this is possible, and in that space you can conduct an experiment.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Between shagging and monogamous marriage there is a world of experience available. You might not know it existed, if you listened to people talk about their sexual experiences. There’s just one way to enter and explore that space, which is honest communication; actual sharing, of profound personal resources, with no intention of future gain. That explains its lack of popularity, and also why you want to enter boldly and discover what just about everyone else is missing.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
I suggest you write out several of your hottest fantasies, in detail. Doing so will take you one step closer to manifestation, and serve as a pleasure vector all its own. Mostly, though, the experience of getting your thoughts onto paper or the screen will help you clarify what you want, which is vital to sexual happiness.  The great thing about imagination is that it’s safe — even though those who lack imagination hold it as very, very dangerous.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
Masturbation is one thing when it’s an indulgence of pleasure, and another when that pleasure is consciously given as a gesture of love. There are some for whom this is natural, others for whom it would sound like the strangest concept in the world. For you right now, it’s an easy place to go. Make sure that the pleasure includes granting yourself total freedom of imagination, as a gift to yourself, because you truly care.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
You are the cosmic portal. You know this, right? Your presence, and in particular, your sexual energy, has the power to take people beyond themselves, beyond their struggle, beyond what they think is possible. An unspeakably beautiful Full Moon (Monday evening in the US) in your own birth sign has this gift of yours running strong right now. Tap into this energy yourself and you will naturally want to share it with others.

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Your sex is your power, and it’s about time you experienced it as such. You have all the strength you need. You have all the mojo and hormones and desire. What you need is confidence, and that will come from being absolutely real with yourself. When you get there, you will have no choice but to be real with everyone else. When I say be real, I mean real, about what you’ve done, who and what you want, and who you are.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
Someone near you wants some intense sex. In fact, you may get the feeling that the human race has never been hornier, and what they all want is you. You can tap into it and have some fun. It would, however, be dangerous to play the tease. If you approach someone, do so with the intention of fulfilling their desire. It’s going to be a lot of fun for you as well, though this is astrology that calls for full commitment to your experience.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
I’ve read many times that the brain is the biggest sex organ, and this could be true for you now. Just be careful because what could be very pleasant mental sex could easily become a mindfuck. So unless you are a devoted writer of erotic fiction (which would be a fantastic use of this energy for you) I suggest you stick to the physical plane and work out what you’re feeling in body, complete with body fluids.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Take the risk you must take to get the sex you want. State your desires out loud. Make a direct proposition, no matter how intimidated you may be. The most important thing is that you follow an actual desire. Approach only those who you actually want, for sure. That will ensure that your sincerity is backed by hormones, lust and maybe even love — fodder for real passion.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
Try doing the thing that makes you feel the least safe. Everyone seems concerned about boundaries and harm prevention and consent and conservatism. And what everyone wants is to dare, though the prevailing cultural vibe makes this not such a popular thing to admit. If you want to fuck, then say you want to fuck. Don’t call it lovemaking or romance. Skip the small talk and get right to the point.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
There seems to be something (or someone) extremely specific that you want. You may not like the fact that you want it. You may wonder if it’s even good for you. You may wonder if you’re obsessed, or if you’re focusing on something negative. I suggest you set aside any judgments you may have and go with the flow of your desires. Erotic needs, fetishes and highly focused cravings are rich territory. So is anything you’re embarrassed about. Get your idea into words, and practice speaking them.

LIBRA (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
Masturbation is a form of self-forgiveness. In order to get to the place where you can let go, what you have to let go of is your struggle against yourself. If you do this consciously, as a choice, and as an intentional act, the result will be correspondingly more profound. You can associate sexual pleasure with the decision to let go of fear and condemnation, and to embrace your existence and your love of yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
If you’re feeling some frustration, you might consider what it is that’s got a hold on you. Then you’ll have an idea what, exactly, you need to move through. Most people think they’re a lot more sexually free than they actually are. Then they keep running into that same old iceberg. You might want to admit that it’s there, and notice where, and what, it is. Then you can do something about it.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Sexual fantasies, the real ones, usually have nothing to do with romance. True, there are people who dress up all their characters and act out dramas along the banks of the Seine, but for the most people, sex is the heart of the matter. And it’s not generally the kind that would even get an R rating. I suggest you go directly into the imagery and feeling of what you want, no matter how inappropriate — indeed, especially if it’s not appropriate.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
It’s often unpopular to be open about sex, and one response to that is to thrive on the tension this causes. This is a natural enough adaptation; however, I would only go there if it’s an actual source of pleasure for you. You could just as well associate with others who like and appreciate your point of view, and who take pleasure in what gives you pleasure. Leave the activism to others, at least for now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
Domination and submission come from the same basic emotional root, which is the exchange of power. I know a domme who says that in every relationship there is a top and a bottom, and that we might as well get that out of the way at the outset. In her model, the notion of existing on level ground is greatly exaggerated. That may be true in the short run, but then you have your personal evolution to consider.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Religion has long made sex its enemy. People who love sex might take a cue from that — it’s a direct comment on how much strength can be found in contacting one’s sexuality. You don’t need any teachings of religion to understand who you are. You only need to stay in contact with your biology, and what you recognize as your deepest desires. Both have more wisdom than all the popes and all the saints combined.

Week of August 13th, 2014

This weekend I’ll be attending the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in Alexandria, VA. It’s the only conference of its kind, where people get together to educate one another about the nature of sexual freedom.

I’ve long been a fan of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. They are among the few people who have had the guts to stand up to abstinence-only indoctrination, which has been imposed on kids since the early 1980s. And they are among the only people you will see making any form of a public statement that sex and sexual freedom are positive things for humanity.

The conference is co-sponsored by GLYDE Condoms.

I am curious to see who I meet and what I learn at this conference. I have been a sex educator for many years, though usually without any form of organizational support. If you would like to read the story of how I became radicalized into teaching about sex, you can read this article, called Pass the 7-Up.

With love,
Your astrologer,
Eric Francis Coppolino

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
You may be taking an experience to the degree where you’re wondering how long you’re going to feel good about yourself. I suggest you question the source of any doubt, which I would propose is not of your own creation. It’s coming from somewhere. I don’t think you’re taking anything to excess; I think you’re living your life, consciously choosing to use the freedom you have in a creative way rather than to squander it.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
You can play with the intense desire of someone close to you. If you take control, you have nothing to fear — and it would seem that the other person is craving some kind of submissive experience, which may mean submitting to your ideas about what would feel good. You have enough experience to know, or to figure it out. Take it slow. Use your mind and your feelings. Draw out the tease for a while.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
Focus your sexual activities at home for a while. Stick to where you feel secure and confident, and where you don’t need to exert any extra effort. That may mean hanging out alone a little more than you’re used to, which will help you focus on an emotional growth issue that may have been irritating you for a while. If you tune into yourself, and get it out in writing, you’ll see that it’s not as difficult as it seems.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
It’s often said that selflove is the basis of love, but rarely said that masturbation is the basis of sex. You still hear a lot about how masturbation is bad for sex, which is ridiculous. For you right now, the positive connection is especially strong. Loving, relating to and getting it on with yourself will open you up to many other experiences, which I know you’ve been craving like mad.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
I recognize that there are commonly thought to be various grades of sex, with more or less spiritual content, but I would say that every encounter — from the seemingly most casual hookup to what happens within the supposedly most profound commitment — amounts to the same thing, which is the expression and exchange of love from one human to another. I recognize this is considered controversial, and apart from being funny, I would ask why that is.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Use your words, use your mind, but by gosh, take action. You do not need to be predictable, pure or perfect. I would propose that what you really, truly, need is to express yourself, with that expression oriented on choice and action. You may be caught in a web of intriguing fantasy, which can be fun but don’t let it lull you to sleep. Stay awake. Stay hungry. Push the limits of appropriate, and be ready to break the boundary. It’s OK. You need to do this.

LIBRA (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
If you’re struggling with self-worth, come up for air and take a breath. Struggling will not get you closer to your destination. Others affirming you will not help much either, because even if they do, you must consciously take on that love and appreciation (that will help a lot). I suggest you move in the direction of allowing yourself to feel — to feel anything, whatever it may be, and count the mere allowing as a sign of self-respect.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
You are slowly getting ready to cut loose. It seems as if you’re figuring out just how stuffed in you’ve been for how long, and the newly arrived heat and passion in your psyche is causing all that crammed material to expand and feel the boundaries of its container. When you reach the point of wanting to let it all out, I suggest you do so entirely sober. You want a real benchmark for where you can surpass your inhibitions naturally.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Your imagination may be taking you into the realms of sweetness and starlight some moments, and then into some dark dungeon where you willingly have sex with strangers. You may be mingling desires for the beautiful romance with the craving for total submission that you would never speak out loud. The first question is what do you need? But the deeper question is, what do you want?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
You may have the craving to expose some deeply private thoughts or narratives. There can be something profoundly liberating about this, and there are many ways to do it safely. But the first thing to do is to actually get your narrative onto paper or into a document. Tell your story. If you feel embarrassed at any point, follow that energy and let it take you where it will. That is where you will find your deepest needs, thoughts and ideas.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
Using the top/bottom paradigm to analyze your charts, you are clearly a top at the moment. That is usually true, but not always. It happens that there may be someone in your environment who is intrigued by the idea of being submissive, but they are unlikely to say so. Therefore, the thing to do is bring up the topic, set some basic boundaries and proceed to have some intriguing fun.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Steady as she goes. You are well on course for setting yourself free from some obstacle that has been blocking your ability to express desire, and to have others respond to it. You don’t need to push; easy really does it. It will help immensely if you stay aware of your environment, which includes where you are, who is around you and the expression in their eyes. That, above all else, will tell you what you need to know.

Week of August 6th, 2014

Intimacy is Introspection That We Share 

Last week in our relationship series on Planet Waves, we posted an article by noted erotica editor Rachel Kramer Bussell wherein she questions why anyone would want to monitor, control or be paranoid about their partner’s masturbation. It’s called I Want My Boyfriend To Fantasize About Other Women.

In case anyone has paused to wonder why masturbation is controversial and come up with no good reason, I have a theory. I believe that largely involves the psychic factor — that one’s imagination is free to go anywhere. This alone could make some people insecure, though in the Bible where Jesus reinterprets the Ten Commandments, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” becomes “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” (Note, there is no mention of his daughter.)

This has caused plenty of pain and confusion, since it put thinking about sex on the same level as sex itself. In other words, sex is the crime and fantasy is the thought crime. In case you wondered whether religion has streak of tyranny to it, ponder on that.

Bussell takes several steps in the other direction, encouraging partners to be open about their fantasies with one another if they want, and allowing one another space to be themselves in the sanctity of their own thoughts.

I would take this idea a few steps further, such as cultivating true erotic empathy, or compersion, for your partner. Maybe try out this philosophy — whatever turns them on turns you on. Whatever turns you on turns them on. At least a little. At least to have some fun with the idea; at least enough to try something out. At least enough to say “whatever turns you on.”

In the comment thread that developed below the post, I wrote, “Over time I contemplated the idea of sexual healing, and this is where I arrive every time, which is that it begins with healing our sexual relationship to ourselves.”

And added: “I’ve explored how this scenario could expand into culture. Imagine if we start with a small, devoted group of individuals who committed to conscious selflove and affirming one another’s selflove; who understand the mechanisms of guilt and shame and who have some knowledge about how to work with and release those emotions; and then over time create a seed community of understanding and healing. The message of this exploration could be, ‘Intimacy is introspection that we share’.

With love,
Your astrologer,
Eric Francis Coppolino

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Play with your exhibitionist tendencies. Imagine that you are art, and in particular, that your sexuality is a mode of artistic expression. Yet the creation and the revelation happen in the same moment; therefore, you can begin by calling yourself present and allowing each moment as it unfolds to be different than the prior one.  Let your creation come forth as what you reveal visually, what you do with your voice and where you place your gaze.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
Wilhelm Reich, a person whose teachings every true aeronaut would benefit from, emphasized the point that having a space of one’s own was essential to sexual freedom. Spaces where you can be monitored, or are afraid to open up your voice, are not spaces where you can be free. Now is the time to create your sex zone. If you already have one, now is the time to make it better, cozier, more lavish or better equipped with whatever suits your fancy.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
My definition of monogamy is someone being their own lover. Then once you have another person involved (spouse, boyfriend, etc.), that’s a form of polyamory, since you have two partners. If you are of one sex and your lover is of another sex that would be bisexuality. Your chart right now describes an image of you being your own lover, and considering getting married to yourself. Once you’ve done that, you will find it much easier to get along with other people.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Marriage is kinky — it’s like being handcuffed to someone, or tied to the bed, only for years. I suggest you try the weekend version of the commitment and really go for it. Play out the power dynamics full spectrum. Take ownership of one another or of the situation. Really demonstrate your commitment, only for two or three days. You might find that scratches your itch just right, like nothing else can, and then you will be free to keep moving.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
The ritual aspect of sex is one of its most beautiful elements, and also one of the most necessary in these days when sex has been reduced to a pastime. Honoring the ritual aspect means being tuned in to the intent of the exchange. There are two concepts there — intent and exchange. Once you raise sex to that level, you are right on the edge of territory sometimes known as tantra. Healing starts to enter the scenario, as does service, as does nourishment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
You have available to you some truly interesting relationship experiences, as long as you’re open to them. If you’re wondering why you might not be more open to the possibilities, I suggest you consider what you think others might think. What if everyone approved of whatever you wanted? What if you didn’t care? I mean what if you really, truly, didn’t give a sniff or giggle or a single modicum of concern about what anyone even vaguely thought? How much more fun would you have?

LIBRA (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
You don’t usually strive to be one of the crowd. I mean, if you do, you do it in your own way, and you’re selective who you associate with; you have a thing for those you consider high-quality people. Who by the way are all around you, and to whom you are exceedingly attractive — a fact which I would encourage you to keep in mind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
One of the erotic themes of Mars plus Saturn, both in your sign at present, is power play. That is, sex where the power arrangement is out in the open, which usually means someone dominating and someone submitting, by agreement. As the next few weeks unfold this is going to heat up to a flashpoint. I am here to remind you that you can do this in fantasy or you can do this in reality.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
You may be experiencing fantasy scenarios that seem dark and mysterious, though I assure you they are made of light. If you observe that anything is embarrassing or shameful, I suggest you pull back the veil and go straight toward it. That is where your hottest and most meaningful desires are kept — disguised as something wrong, hidden where you’re not supposed to discover them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
You need some sexual experience where you are worshipped as the only person who exists, as the only one who can fulfill someone’s desire — by which I mean their desire to serve and to please you. There is sharing in this form of sex, and it comes in the form of the privilege that someone gets to offer themselves as the servant of your pleasure. I mean this not as a way of life but rather as a mode of play, an experiment, an encounter.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
How do you feel when you think about your parents having sex? Most people are a little grossed out by the idea. However, when you consider that it’s the thing that created you, that gave you existence and life and the freedom to explore the planet in your body, you might decide to make friends with their experience of one another. Let yourself be turned on by it. Maybe it’s daring, though it’ll help set you free.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
If you’re looking for sex and companionship, reach for well above what you would consider your league, with no reservations whatsoever. Be forward with those you consider the very most attractive, intelligent, successful — whatever turns you on. Be direct and respectful, though making your approach on level ground rather than from below. Notice who inspires you creatively — you are likely to do the same for them. Ignore ‘relationship status’ and treat everyone like an individual.

Week of July 30th, 2014

Body Issues? It’s Time to Get Naked    

Earlier this week, an email from Adina Rivers, an advocate for sexual freedom, floated into my inbox.

“Sit naked in front of the mirror and answer this question: ‘Do you love what you see?’ A recent study found that over 90% of people do not like their bodies. If you are one of them chances are high that your sex life isn’t as fulfilling as it could be. Why? Well, if you do not feel safe in your body you cannot fully open yourself to feel sexual pleasure.”

She included a video, which I clicked. It’s about nakedness and how this is the thing that helps relieve people of their negative body- image. It seems a paradox — the usual thought is when your body is perfect, you’ll feel good and then you’ll feel better getting naked.

Negative Body Image: How To Heal It (We Are Naaccckkkid)

Except it never works that way. Even if you work for years to get the perfect body, you’re unlikely to feel like that’s true because you’ve cultivated the habit of seeing and correcting supposed imperfections. Fortunately, the ‘just get naked’ method works great. I know this from my photography, which involves taking pictures of nudes in mirrors. The liberation usually comes after the photo session, not before.

Getting naked is the liberating part. Start with yourself. Do ordinary things undressed. Just hang out that way. Then get a large mirror and put it where you can see yourself and keep doing those everyday things.

Pretty soon you will indeed go beyond the ordinary.

With love, your astrologer
Eric Francis Coppolino

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Group sex is one of the hottest fantasies there is, even among the seemingly prim and proper. It takes sex to a new level: a witness present, the factor of bisexuality and diversity and that means many new experiences. You may have been craving this for a while and now feel the courage and freedom to experiment. Choose someone you trust and whose heart is open. And I suggest you have three experiences before. you make up your mind whether you like it.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
Stay turned on all the time. Try it as a Zen exercise. Remember constantly how good sex is, how much you want it, who you want and why and what you want to try next. Don’t allow ‘ordinary consciousness’ to mask or screen out your real feelings. Observe how people respond to you. Notice how they notice you. Imagine they can smell you from across the room. Notice what it’s like to really be alive.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
Consider the relationship between sex and health. It’s easy to see, and it’s meaningful. Vitality and sex are so closely related as to be inseparable. Let your blood flow through your veins. Make the connection between desire and the desire to live, and to live well. There is one other aspect to this — which is productivity, mainly of your ideas, which may be bursting out of you right now. Your mind will thrive in an environment rich in sweat and pheromones.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Venus in your sign is sweet, like fruit, like honey, like fresh water. Go out in your natural scent — no perfume, deodorant, aftershave. You are a natural entity and you want to attract other natural entities who notice who you are and what you’ve got to share. Take some time and make a few homemade meals for yourself and for friends. Remember the wisdom of the Kama Sutra — those who can blend flavors skillfully are also excellent at lovemaking.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
With the Sun and Jupiter in your sign, this is a moment of luck and love. Yet it would help immensely if you could relax a little and if possible, cast off any semblance of rigidity or control, which are two real challenges for Leo. One factor that may be pushing you to fear the worst can also stoke your hottest fantasies and desires. Yet you may need to face a shadow or two, which is natural when there is bright light.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Have you considered that you’re the object of someone’s fantasies? Well, probably more than one person. It may be a good few people and you probably have no idea who they are. Some people are creeped out by such a concept — I suggest you be open to it and consider how good it feels to be noticed, desired and appreciated. You certainly have a few fantasy lovers of your own, so it’s only fair. With at least one of them, the feeling is mutual.

LIBRA (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
Offer yourself generously to the people around you. Imagine that you are wealthy, wise and benevolent, and are always willing to lend an ear to people in need, particularly of connections or information. These same qualities also make you glow radiantly. Be confident, be present in every situation, greet people by name, and you will meet some sexy individuals who float your boat. And by your good graces, I would predict that at least two people will find connections they might otherwise have missed.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
Mars is in your sign now, which makes you a font of hormones, pheromones and all-around desirable beauty. I am aware that these things make plenty of people nervous. Being looked at, being seen, being noticed, can all lead to panic attacks. I suggest you conduct an experiment and see what it’s like not to feel this way — to refuse to let it take hold of you, even vaguely. Yes, you are experiencing your real power. With a modicum of awareness, that will work very well for you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Most people have no concept how sex was practiced in other cultures and at other times in history, and your astrology is suggesting you expand your horizons. Unlike in American culture, and Christian religion, certain cultures and religions take more open-minded approaches to sex. I suggest you go on a hunt for these things. They might come in the form of Tantra, Kama Sutra or any philosophy that acknowledges something may be missing from our concept of sex — and strives to find it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
Sex is to be shared. Yes, the prevailing sex-economy says hold back, don’t be too generous and keep the price high. I always wonder what moron came up with that. Sex is the most abundant resource in the universe except maybe for air, and you can afford to be generous. The central question is not what you want to get; the central question is about what would be fun, what you would enjoy, and what would make someone else happy. Try it — you’ll like it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
Keep your options open, and exercise them at the same time. Life is not a zero-sum-game — a game with one winner and a bunch of losers. Your life is an ever-expanding field of potential. No matter who you are with, you are free to keep your heart open and to stay open to the universe. Yes, these are days that will make you wish you were in an open relationship, or a totally free- range lover. These things are possible, and they are very possible right now.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Whatever you share offers both healing and pleasure. Therefore, you have as a personal resource what many people crave, need and desire. If you look at the world from that point of view rather than from the viewpoint of what you need, you will find you’re surrounded by abundance. The truth is, you have what you need, and what you don’t have you can live without, so there is no real urgency — and that is the best time to give and to receive.

Week of July 23rd, 2014

How much of sex is about you, and how much is about the other? I mean this in a global way. With so many romantic ideals imposed on sex, we like to think sex is all about the other person. As everyone discovers sooner or later, sometimes it is, and sometimes it’s not. I think that these are equal values, by which I mean they are both ‘true’ and ‘correct’ — as long as you can tell them apart. There is a dimension to sex that is all about self-gratification. There is another dimension to sex that’s all about offering yourself to the other. There is a third dimension, perhaps the most unusual, where there is a mutual, conscious exchange of love, awareness and pleasure. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing physically at the time — this is a psychic or emotional experience. Pay attention to what territory you’re in and you’ll have a lot more fun when you’re there.

w/love,
Your astrologer,
Eric Francis Coppolino

ARIES (March 20-April 19)
Sex as a gift, offering or service can be profound for everyone involved. This can involve teaching, healing or helping someone who needs you. This is a special role, one not often spoken of and, because it does not involve an economic exchange, there is an element of taboo. Go there if you want to, or if you feel called to. This is a much higher calling than you’re likely to read about anywhere but here.

TAURUS (April 19-May 20)
Get it while you can. If someone comes at you with what feels like honest desire, don’t be afraid to meet them with your full energy. You can overthink all of the social implications, though I would say that you could cover them all in that one word — honest. Your one potential reservation is that you might care too much, though I suggest you make a choice to care just enough to offer nourishment.

GEMINI (May 20-June 21)
If your life is at a turning point it involves jealousy. A profoundly complex emotion that takes many forms, the heart of the matter is whether you feel you can possess or control someone, by which I mean anyone. If you feel the impulse to control, try stating an emotional need that someone else might be happy about providing for you. If you learn how to do this, control will not seem so appealing.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Your passion is likely to take you deeper than you’re expecting. What starts as a friendly encounter can transform into something that has a daring, soulful quality. That may mean that you respond in ways you’re not expecting, or that you may have an experience that will change your life in some way. Think of this as looking into the mirror of the mysteries of who you are — and seeing something you’ve never seen.

LEO (July 22-Aug. 23)
With the Sun now in your sign, you are at your most attractive and with Jupiter in your sign, you are at your most intelligent. Be sure to keep that in mind as you notice who is into you and why. Invest your energy in people who value your mind as well as your charms and your good looks. This is essential if a relationship is going to last more than a week.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep. 22)
Stay close to your fantasy life — it’s likely to be quite the movie right now. Fantasy is important because it’s the real indicator of what turns you on. So what if it’s totally outrageous, or if you think it’s too wild to mention? You should know what gets you hot — and focus the courage to make it happen, one thing at a time. Start with keeping your imagination vivid, and maybe journaling your desires so you can see what story they tell.

LIBRA (Sep. 22-Oct. 23)
Everybody loves a dom. Why is that? Because secretly everyone wants to submit to female power. Many gay men emulate and explore the feminine side of life. Right now your dom tendencies are running high. You can push this as far as you like — there is someone who wants to submit to you. You just need to notice who that is, make sure they are into the experience, and take charge.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 22)
You must keep an open mind. That means noticing when your mind is closed. This may be as simple as noticing how often you say no versus how often you say yes, including to yourself, and to ideas as much as to experiences. You seem to be growing weary of living inside of a sexual box. Your natural biology seems to be taking over. The way out of the box is to say yes, especially when you are feeling that yes all warm and watery inside.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 22)
Your ruling planet Jupiter has changed signs, entering the angle of your chart associated with all things exotic, foreign and mystical. That is an invitation to experiment with your concepts of sex. Anyone who is horny and conscious owes it to themselves to read a couple of books about tantra and to learn something about the history of sex in our society. You will learn things that amaze you, and may help set you free.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)
Mars is about to enter Scorpio, which is good news for you. This transit, combined with other factors, will squeeze the passion out of you like a burst of juice from an orange. I suggest you make a point of revealing how sexual you are, rather than trying to hide it. Be open in what you say, how you look and remember that the response you get is energy coming back to you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19)
You can do what so many people refuse to do with their sexuality — take charge. You’ve always known you could do this and, more significantly, that you want to. Right now the astrology is perfect. Take authority. Know who and what you want, and don’t be afraid of anyone you desire. Most of all, train yourself not to care what anyone thinks about how bold you are. What you think is all that matters — and you have the integrity for this to work out for everyone.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
With Jupiter in Leo, your vital force is what will attract people to you. Usually it’s your dreamy side, and your ability to manifest as a figure in someone else’s fantasies. Now it’s your raw biological mojo that is doing the job, so keep that running strong. Eat well, get enough sleep, get outside and walk standing straight up. Notice who looks at you and then find out what they have to say for themselves.