You cannot reason your way out of all fear. At a certain point you must address anxiety as its own subject. Because so few things that we fear actually go wrong, you can safely treat fear as an emotion, rather than as a prediction or premonition. This is a crucial distinction to make, because if fear has relevance, it’s about the thing that you fear coming to pass.
You seem to be so busy with commitments that you don’t have time to explore. Therefore, when someone arrives and gives you an opportunity to do just that, I suggest you make time and space. More to the point, make being available a priority. I mean really available, unplugged and potentially undressed; but mainly psychologically and spiritually available.
You have the strength of your convictions — but as Robert Anton Wilson said, convictions make convicts. What would benefit you and close partners the most is your flexibility — such as working with options rather than all-or-nothing scenarios. You will benefit from having alternatives around the timing of certain things you want to happen. And it includes taking an open-ended approach to resolving apparent conflicts.
Mars has barely moved since stationing direct a few weeks ago, though what little movement there has been suggests you are working out a profound question about what you want. Desires are problematic because they always seem to have competition. It can be internal (I want that, but do I want that other thing/person more?) or external (I want that, but what does this other person think?).
As the Sun moves through the final degrees of your sign, it’s making an aspect to Neptune in Aquarius — a square, which implies tension, emotional conflict and the sensation of not knowing what’s true. This looks like a playback of confusion you’ve experienced many times before, particularly around your birthday.